Tag Archives: women

Reaching women in socially-conservative areas, even in other countries

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A Soviet-style drawing of a woman with a shovel

I’ve been reading through some of my first professional blogs, from back in 2009, on archive.org. Back then, my blog was hosted on another site and all the content went away when that site went under.

Some things have changed OH so much – and some things haven’t changed at all.

I found this blog from 19 October 2009 and thought it was worth re-sharing. The sadness as I read, of course, is profound, knowing the situation for women in Afghanistan now, versus when I was there in 2007. It’s also sad to read because, for thousands of people, a career in international humanitarian work has been put on hold – not just in the USA (foreign aid program funding has been slashed in countries all throughout the world). But I’m sharing it anyway, with the hope that someone out there might still find it helpful – and this is the last in my month-long series about working in interntional development:

While I was in Afghanistan, I was notorious for kicking-back field reports that stated “the community was consulted” about this or that project, but that never said if the decision-making included any women. Sadly, the report writers often came back to me with a scowl and lots of excuses about why women weren’t included when “the community was consulted.” Never mind that, even in Afghanistan, it IS possible.

When you work in humanitarian and development efforts, you must always be aware that talking to the official leadership of a community, a region, whatever, does not mean you are hearing about the needs of all citizens, such as minority populations or even majority populations — women. There are ways to seek out and include women in even socially-conservative areas so that they can be a part of decision-making.

A good example of this is an intervention in Egypt which used Egyptian women to reach other women regarding eye care, highlighted in a brief article by the Community Eye Health Journal. The successful strategy they employed was this:

  • The team undertaking the intervention held various meetings and presentations to establish a trusting relationship with local policy makers, local health authorities, local community leaders, local non-government organizations (NGOs), etc. 
  • The team used this network to explain that women weren’t receiving eye care at the same rate as men, and that saving or restoring women’s sight benefits the whole family.
  • The team used this network to identify local women with previous experience in community development projects who could be trained to reach female community members in the intervention villages, as they would be able to enter homes and meet with women without coming into conflict with local cultural practices.
  • 42 women were trained over three days, and 30 were selected. as “health visitors,”
  • The health visitors then visited 90 per cent of the population in the two intervention villages from March to December 2007.
  • During each visit, health visitors explained to women that saving or restoring their own sight would benefit the whole family. Each family received a variety of educational materials, including a calendar with illustrations relating to eye care and information on the importance of seeking eye care for the women in the household.

The result was a huge surge in the number of women receiving eye care as part of this intervention. And maybe something more: a change in the way the community viewed the value of its women? That wasn’t measured, unfortunately.

Ofcourse, Egypt isn’t Afghanistan. Every country presents special challenges when it comes to reaching women regarding development interventions. But there’s always a way! Regardless of your role in humanitarian or development efforts, always make reaching women a priority.

Postscript: even now, there are UN agencies working in Afghanistan and, even now, they are engaging with women. Look at their updates regarding their work there. I stand by the statement: there is ALWAYS a way.

If you have benefited from this blog or other parts of my web site and would like to support the time that went into researching information, developing material, preparing articles, updating pages, etc. (I receive no funding for this work), here is how you can help. 

What marketable IT skills should be taught mobile-only users?

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Someone online asked the following – they were asking about people in a particular developing country:

If you had to teach an IT skill (IT used in the very broad sense and including social media management, online chat support, microblogging) to a group of people whose only exposure to tech is their cellphones and social media platforms, in 16 half-day sessions, what would you pick? These should be skills that are in demand by employers and can give them a foot-in to work on platforms like Fiverr and Udemy.

I found the question interesting because, when it comes to online volunteering, finding roles where you use ONLY a smartphone are few and far between. Similary, I’ve never seen a paid job where all you need is a smart phone (but LOTS of scams implying there are such).

My answer was very different than everyone else’s. Here are the suggestions I made:

I would make sure they understood:

  • the basics of cutting and pasting, editing,
  • spell check with the free version of Grammarly, when something is online/in the cloud and when something is downloaded,
  • when something SHOULD be in the cloud versus when something is downloaded,
  • using a VPN,
  • keeping information safe online,
  • knowing what of your information should be private and what’s okay to be public,
  • how to protect privacy online and stay safe online and detect scams,
  • the basics of netiquette and
  • how to build trust online.

I would do a workshop on what an effective online video interactive meeting looks like versus an online panel or online presentation. I would show how YouTube, Vimeo and Facebook video work – how to post, how to “like” a video, how to set privacy settings for videos, how to moderate comments, and if possible on a phone (I’m not sure if it is), how to edit such. I would emphasize that online tools are fluid – what we use now might not be what we use in 10 years, and that’s okay, because what we learn and how we work now will just transfer over to whatever comes along.

What’s interesting is that the person didn’t really seem to like the answer. She found them too “basic.” My rebuttal, which I didn’t post on her original question, but will here:

The aforementioned skills are what I look for when hiring someone, and I find them severely lacking among both applicants and co-workers – especially co-workers under 35. Whether the role is social media management, web site design, database management or online counseling, all of the aforementioned skills are fundamental to an employee, consultant or volunteer’s success in that role – and when any of these skills are lacking, the work suffers and it reflects poorly not only on the person but the entire organization.

Basic or not, these are the essential skills 21st-century workers need to master, no matter where they are in the world. And way too many of them are falling short. When an applicant has these skills, they get hired and they FLOURISH, no matter what tech changes come along.

And for those in the USA: Happy Labor Day!

Also see:

Virtual Volunteering & Employability

If you have benefited from this blog, my other blogs, or other parts of my web site and would like to support the time that went into researching information, developing material, preparing articles, updating pages, etc. (I receive no funding for this work), here is how you can help. 

Volunteer to support a family from Afghanistan in the USA: form a sponsor circle

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The USA has evacuated thousands of Afghans in desperate need of safety, per the takeover by the Taliban, a terrorist group that does not believe women should be a part of public society and wants to require everyone in the country to live by their very strict views. Thousands of these Afghans are at military bases across the USA awaiting placement in welcoming communities. 

No matter where you are located in the USA, you can welcome an Afghan family and provide them with the practical support they need to get settled – by your serving as a certified sponsor circle. As a sponsor circle, you and your neighbors will volunteer to take on tasks like finding initial housing, stocking the pantry, connecting children to school, providing initial income support, and helping adults to find employment.

  1. Communities Circle Up: Bring together at least five adults in your neighborhood to form a sponsor circle. Complete background checks, fundraise, and prepare to submit your group’s application for certification.
  2. Members Make a Plan: Check your knowledge of what is needed to serve as a sponsor circle and prepare a Welcome Plan in advance of being matched with a newcomer. Support in completing your Welcome Plan is available!
  3. Circles Welcome Newcomers: Once certified, sponsor circle volunteers will welcome the newcomer directly into the community and provide tailored support through the initial integration process.

Each sponsor circle must fundraise a minimum of $2,275 per individual you will support. That means, if your sponsor circle is going to support a family of three, you will need to raise $6,825.

Each sponsor group must commit to providing a minimum of 90-days of reception and welcome support to an Afghan newcomer family. At least one sponsor circle member has to complete the required knowledge check, an online training program.

RefugePoint, which has been rescuing and resettling refugees for decades, is the NGO stationed at U.S. military bases to assign Afghans to circles for absorption.

Complete information about the web site sponsorcircles.org.

Also see this piece about this program by Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner.

Also see:

My request to my US congressional representatives regarding Afghan refugees

Digital Dunkirk: online volunteers scramble to help endangered Afghans get visas & out of Afghanistan

If you ignore women in Afghanistan, development efforts there will fail (2017)

Too much text on the web? Bollocks

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I have always believed content drives design for any communications product, from a paper brochure to a website. What good is a supposedly “well designed” or “eye-catching” poster, billboard, flyer, manual or website if it doesn’t get the result you want – and the result is not just people looking at it and saying, “Oh, what a lovely design,” but what they DO and how they THINK after experiencing that product.

I will never forget being handed a company brochure at a nonprofit where I had just started and being told, “It won a design award!” I looked it over and said, “The text is too small for someone who needs glasses to read and dark green text on a light green background makes it really hard for ME to read as well.” I didn’t last long at that job…

Then there was the designer who so proudly presented me with his design for an upcoming event, and it was beautiful, but it was missing the date, the time and the location of the event, and it implied the event would be something that it wasn’t. But, hey, it was pretty! He was crushed when I told him he had to add the necessary info. “But… it ruins the design…” he sighed…

And then there was the nonprofit that decided it wanted to delete at least half the text off of its web site. It did so, resulting in an onslaught of email from people asking for more information, and me having to constantly cut and paste, over and over, the information that used to be on the web site.

My attitude about text – about the importance of clarity and completeness over just brevity for brevity’s sake – puts me at odds with many a designer. But it recently put me at odds with people who believe “too much text intimidates young people” and, therefore, you should cut down on the number of pages on your web site.

Bollocks.

Yes, I get it – most people don’t read everything on a web site. That has ALWAYS been true. I have always known people don’t go to a website and read it like a book – they go to a website, read the home page, and if they are enticed, or in need of certain information, they click on something and read more.

What’s great about the web is that you can create a site that appeals to BOTH of those groups of information consumers, those who just need a bit of info, and those who want to dive deeper.

Also, people often go to a web site not as a fresh, new visitor who need something shiny waved at them to be intrigued – there are those that go to a web site looking for specific details. They may be a current volunteer who wants to get clarification regarding the purpose of your organization’s community engagement. They may be someone who wants to understand more about why the issue your nonprofit addresses exists at all. They may be someone who is doing a reference check on someone claiming to be on your board. It may be a CURRENT STAFF MEMBER who wants to stay on brand/message, and to do that, needs to know what the official wording is regarding some program or practice.

How many times have I joined an organization as a new employee or consultant and my only source for vital historical information I need is the organization’s web site? And how many times has the organization not had that vital information on their new, shiny, modern, streamlined website, so I have to go find it on an old version of their site on the Internet Wayback Machine?

Absolutely, when someone opens a web page, they shouldn’t feel overwhelmed. Some are overwhelmed by lots of text. I’m overwhelmed by lots of photos – because I rarely go to a web site for photos, I go for information, and I feel like I’m lost in a sea of images and I search for real, actual information I need.

The philosophy is to put JUST enough information on a web page to get people to sign up for an event, put JUST enough to get people to buy a ticket. I get that. And, certainly, for landing pages, it’s a good philosophy. But there are many users who are going to need more information. So why not have a link to more information so people like me, who are NOT going to buy that ticket or sign up to volunteer based on just a paragraph or two, can dive deeper? Believe me, there is PLENTY of room on your web site for that additional information. There is plenty of room on the web for more web pages.

One last note: I have once again been in a position to create tasks for volunteers and then to recruit and involve volunteers in those positions. I tried the less-is-more for role descriptions – and ended up with an endless number of questions from volunteers, asking for all those details I was leaving out of my pithy recruitment posts. Lesson learned: I went back to long-form.

If you have benefited from this blog, my other blogs, or other parts of my web site and would like to support the time that went into researching information, developing material, preparing articles, updating pages, etc. (I receive no funding for this work), here is how you can help. 

“Gender & Politics” Panel, Washington County, Oregon

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Last week, I had the honor of moderating a panel discussion on “Gender & Politics” in Washington County, Oregon. The discussion was hosted by the local chapter of the American Association of University Women (AAUW) and was held at Taylor Auditorium at Pacific University.

The panel featured three women holding voter-elected offices in Washington County: See Eun Kim, a Hillsboro School Board member, Kate Grandusky of Gales Creek and the Forest Grove School Board, and Felicita Monteblanco and Chair of the Tualatin Hills Park and Recreation District Board of Directors.

Women’s involvement in government, and their overall civic engagement, is something I’m passionate about. I’ve participated in initiatives that support this abroad, including in Afghanistan, and it’s fascinating to participate in initiatives here in the USA – so many of the challenges are exactly the same. Since moving to Oregon in 2009, I made it a personal mission to encourage more civic engagement by everyone, including women, by posting on various social media channels every publicly-announced opportunity I could find for the public to hear from city council members and county officials where I live, local state representatives and senators and national officeholders, as well as those running for any elected office. I’ve also made it a goal to engage much more myself, such as serving on the Canby Bicycle and Pedestrian Committee, the Forest Grove Public Safety Advisory Commission and the Washington County Cultural Trust, as well as joining and volunteering with the League of Women Voters – Washington County Unit.

It was because of these activities that I was invited to be the moderator of this gender and politics panel here in the county where I live in Oregon. It was an opportunity to hear first hand from local women about their experiences in running for public office, the systemic changes needed they might think are needed for more women in office, and what we can do to encourage more women to run. And it was a terrific cross-section on the panel, in terms of ages and ethnic identities.

Before the discussion began, I noted a few things about women in politics in the USA and in Washington County, Oregon specifically:

  • Women make up at least half of the population here in the USA. Yet, as of now, women represent just over 20 percent of US Congress members – but that’s IS a record with just over 100 women serving. One of those members is the representative for our area here in Oregon, Suzanne Bonamichi (yeah!).
  • While it’s a record number of women overall in the US Congress, it’s the lowest number of Republican women in the House in a quarter-century (just 13).
  • Women have run for President and for Vice President in the USA, but have never held those offices. Meanwhile, many other countries, including the UK, Germany, New Zealand, and Pakistan are, or have been, lead by women.
  • In Washington County, of our 13 Oregon state representatives, 6 are women – that’s almost half.
  • There are five members of the Washington County Board of Commissioners, and two of them, including the chair, are women. The chair is Kathryn Harrington and member Pam Treece represents District 2.
  • In Forest Grove, where the panel was held, of the seven members of the city council, three are women: Councilor Elena Uhing and Malynda Wenzl, both elected, and the newest council member, recently appointed Councilor Mariana Valenzuela.

Some food for thought I offered as moderator to set the tone for the evening:

  • 2018 data from the Pew Research Center shows that Republican and Republican-leaning women are roughly twice as likely (44 percent) as Republican men (24 percent) to say that there are too few women in office, and are also significantly more likely to say that it’s easier for men to get into office.
  • Majorities of Republican women, Democratic women, and Democratic men say that women have to do more to prove themselves, compared to that 28 percent of GOP men. Likewise, while nearly half of GOP women and majorities of Democrats believe discrimination keeps women from office, compared to just 14 percent of GOP men.
  • Republican women are also significantly more likely than men in their party to say that sexual harassment, differences in party support, and voters “not being ready” to elect women keep women out of office.
  • Like Republican men, Democratic men are significantly less likely than their female counterparts to believe that Americans “aren’t ready to elect a woman to higher office.”
  • The poll also shows that Americans see women and men as having different abilities regarding both leadership and policy.

Some things I learned from the panelists’ comments:

  • None had run for office before and all said a version of, “I didn’t know how to run. I never did anything like this before!”
  • Two of the three were graduates of the Emerge program and said it was incredibly helpful in their campaigns. Those two also felt being mentored by women who had run for office was essential to their success and says there is a need for even more mentoring.
  • All three said personal connections with the community they wanted to represent and “social capital” were fundamental to their success as candidates and as officeholders. All of them knew a lot of people in their communities and were trusted by those people.
  • Two noted that women need to start asking, explicitly, for childcare to be provided at candidate forums, city council meetings, school board meetings, etc., if we truly want more women involved in politics.
  • One noted that, for many women, “We do not look in the mirror and see a candidate. But many men do look in the mirror and say, ‘I should run for office!” She also talked about imposter syndrome (something that I also suffer from!).
  • Two members of the panel noted that it was important to never be embarrassed to ask questions or to not know Roberts Rules of Order, that if someone says, “You are not following the rules!”, immediately ask for guidance and advice on how to do it.
  • One emphasized something I emphasize myself: go to the meetings of the government body you want to serve on. If you are going to run for school board, you need to be going to school board meetings. Become familiar, first hand, with how it works.

Here is the article in the Forest Grove News-Times newspaper about the event, and it does a good job of summarizing the candidates’ comments from the evening.

Questions I didn’t get to ask:

  • Do you feel like people have treated you differently as a candidate or serving in office because you are a woman and, if so, could you give an example of this?
  • How do you handle criticism?
  • How do you achieve work/life/office/family/volunteer balance?

An observation that I found startling as I listened to the panelists: they were focused on policies and actions regarding health, education, housing and the environment – and never once mentioned anything about how to help businesses. I don’t think any are anti-business, but I find it fascinating that talk of business-friendly policies that absolutely dominate political discussions with male candidates and officeholders wasn’t mentioned at all by these panelists.

As moderator, I tried to keep my statements at the event at a minimum – this was an event to hear from the panelists, not me. But what I would add to the advice about getting more women to serve in office:

  • Take your daughters, other female family members and friends to a city council meeting, to a school board meeting, to a candidate debate, or anything else that would expose them to how local government works.
  • Encourage your daughters, nieces, sisters, etc. to run for leadership roles at school or in any groups they are in. Celebrate them even if they don’t win the leadership position.
  • Discourage everyone in your life from disparaging a female candidate or an officeholder’s appearance – her hair, her makeup, her style of clothes, etc. – and her voice. Encourage discussion instead of a candidate’s opinions, positions and actions, including criticism. Watch carefully what you yourself say about any female officeholder, candidate or other leader (or aspiring leader).
  • Teach young women how to walk into a room for the express purpose of networking. Talk about how to approach a group, how to introduce yourself, how to shake hands, how to be culturally appropriate if you realize someone might not shake hands, etc.
  • If you have any doubts about your public speaking abilities, join your local chapter of Toastmasters.
  • Remember that you have EVERY right to take up space in any room, in any conversation. Take up that space and own it.

I could say so much more… I desperately want a diversity of more women on citizens’ advisory committees, including planning commissions, in addition to wanting a woman President and Vice-President. I want to support that happening anyway I can.

Also see these related blogs:

If you have benefited from this blog or other parts of my web site and would like to support the time that went into researching information, developing material, preparing articles, updating pages, etc. (I receive no funding for this work), here is how you can help. 

The Privilege of Being “Weird”

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@malihaness

Somewhere in Afghanistan, and Kenya, and Mexico, and all sorts of other “developing” countries, there is a woman who dreams – or dreamed – of being a filmmaker. Or a dancer. Or a comedian. Or a mountain climber. Or a skateboarder. Or a marathon runner. Or a creator of comic book super heroes. She has, or had, the drive, the passion, the desire, and maybe even the talent for it.

But while these women are – or were – physically and mentally able to do those things – they can or could do it – they are or were not allowed to do it – they may not do it.

Think of her: no one around her may be aware of this dream and she may suffer entirely in silence, burning with the desire to pursue this activity. But she doesn’t dare even try: imagine her showing up with her skateboard to a skate park and being chased away by the boys and men there. Imagine dancing as an act that would make her ostracized, at best, and even a target for killing by her own family, at worst. Imagine putting on a puppet show and the event being seen an act of subversion by the government because women performing in public, even with a puppet, is a no-no. Imagine wanting to run in foot races and becoming the target of a shaming campaign by local religious leaders.

Imagine just wanting to move your body a certain way, or just wanting to make people laugh, and being forbidden from doing that.

It actually doesn’t even have to be that dire to prevent a girl or woman from pursuing a dream: imagine a girl right here in the USA, someone who is black or of Latino or Asian heritage, or is perceived as a member of a tribal nation, who can’t get cast in even a community theatre play, can’t get on the lineup at a comedy club no matter how many open mic nights she participates in, can’t get anyone to watch the short, hilarious film she has on YouTube, gets ridiculed when she shows up at a Sci Fi convention, and on top of all that, gets demeaned by her family and peers for even trying to do any of those things. Think about all the years on Saturday Night Live that there was no cast member that was female and black – and, yes, there WERE, and are, female, black comedians.

I thought about this when I read Eric Idle’s autobiography, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. I enjoyed it so, so much, but I also thought about what a privilege it is to be able to say, “I’m going to this open mic night and I’m performing a sketch.” Or to delight in being an outsider or being weird – doing things and pursuing dreams that are quite different from what is perceived as “the norm” by your family and friends and immediate community. It doesn’t sound like that big of a deal to make your family and friends and immediate community uncomfortable to most Americans – but it’s a huge deal for many people, especially women. Being able to do those things is a right, an opportunity, that millions of people don’t know and will never know. They won’t know them because of lack of opportunity. Because of culture. Or even because of laws and because of the danger.

Have you seen the videos of the rush for tickets in Bangladesh for Avengers End Game? I’ve watched them a few times now. I can’t see any women or girls in that rush. But I know there are women and girls in Bangladesh that would love to see that movie just as much as the men running for that box office.

I think about how lucky I’ve been in pursuing my dreams and passions, both professionally and personally and, yes, delighting in being different, an outsider. I’ve done some crazy things, and I have the photos to prove it – and thank goodness, a lot of times there was no camera around. It is a privilege to mortify your family in public by breaking out into song at inappropriate moments or to dance at the grocery store when a certain song comes on. It is a privilege for a teenage girl to prepare to go out to a midnight showing, dressed as a character in the movie, and for Mom to stare at her in silence for a few moments and then finally say, “Well, have fun.”

Professionally, things have slowed down for me substantially, and I have been lamenting that a lot, resenting it because I don’t at all feel ready to retire, but then I think of all those women and girls, in all those countries, in all those places, even right here in the USA, burning to do things they may not do. So I decided to amplify some of the NGOs working to help girls and women not only dream, but to pursue those dreams, that are so different than “the norm.” Afghanistan is near and dear to my heart, and here are some of the organizations that, were I a millionaire, I would love to support:

Bond Street Theatre has been working in Afghanistan since 2003.  Its goal is to introduce theatre-based educational programs in Afghanistan, especially targeting women and girls who have few outlets for creative expression, and to help revitalize the performing arts after years of cultural repression.

Skateistan is an award-winning international non-profit organization providing programs combining skateboarding and education to children and youth in Afghanistan, Cambodia and South Africa. “Through the hook of skateboarding, we engage with children, especially girls and youth from low-income backgrounds, giving them access to safe spaces and education and provide valuable life skills that go beyond the skatepark and the classroom.”

The Afghanistan National Institute of Music (ANIM) “provides a dynamic, challenging, and safe learning environment for all students regardless of their gender, ethnicity, religious sect, or socio-economic circumstances.  We focus especially on supporting the most disadvantaged children in Afghanistan – orphans, street-working vendors and girls.”

Community Supported Film fosters good governance and equitable societies by training grassroots activists in documentary filmmaking and using their films to inform public opinion and policy. This includes Afghanistan.

But you don’t have to look to Afghanistan or some other country to find girls and women and other marginalized groups worthy of your support in pursuing artistic or athletic dreams. In or near your community in a “developed” country, there are theatres, dance companies, music groups, even improv groups, as well as running clubs, hiking clubs, kayak classes, karate classes and more for immigrants, refugees, ethnic minorities, and, indeed, women and girls. Look for them, go see a performance or a match or whatever. Look for a roller derby bout in your area – roller derby is my favorite thing in Portland, Oregon. Look for women and girls on Twitter pursuing their cos-play dreams and “like” their posts. Blog about it. Share it on social media. And if there is a nonprofit associated with whatever it is you see happening, donate to it.

Also, check out Geeky Muslimah, a blog about “the Muslim geek experience,” and the Twitter account Black Girl Geeks.

And one final note: 14 years ago, I finished my Master’s project at Open University, on the non-artistic elements that need to be in place for theater, dance or other performance to work as a tool for development – as part of a public health project, a reconciliation campaign, an effort to change attitudes about something, etc. In case you want some light reading…

Updated April 15, 2021: A comic strip demonstrates the challenges women face online. It’s developed by Kenya ICT Action Network (KICTANet). In a story of three differently aged, differently shaped and differently employed women, we see what violence can look like online, how the seemingly harmless can actually contribute to it, and what we can all do to prevent it and to create a safer space for women online.

If you have benefited from this blog or other parts of my web site and would like to support the time that went into developing material, researching information, preparing articles, updating pages, etc., here is how you can help.

Also see:

Proliferation of SmartPhones leads to proliferation of rape videos

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I have talked with women who help manage or even just use community tech centers all over the world – in Egypt, Afghanistan, Jordan and various countries in Africa – and very often, they have told me something that they never put into a program report for UNDP or whomever was funding the center: that the men and boys coming to the center used the computers to view porn more than any other subject.

This story from the BBC has brought this memory back to me. Here’s an excerpt:

…even as it becomes easier to access pornography thanks to cheap data and smartphones, there is concern that this isn’t being accompanied by any meaningful understanding of sex and relationships. Local boys in the village freely admitted to the BBC that they watched videos of molestation and rape. One 16-year-old said he had seen more than 25 such videos, adding that his friends often shared them on their smartphones.

Sunita Krishnan, the founder of Prajwala, an organisation in the southern city of Hyderabad that deals with issues of sexual violence and trafficking says these violent videos reinforce the old belief that a woman’s choice is insignificant and she has no agency.

This earlier story from BBC about the kidnapping, rape and murder of a child talks about some of the reasons for the attitude in the country about women.

India is not alone when it comes to high rates of incidence of rape. But many believe patriarchy and a skewed sex ratio may be making matters worse. There is public apathy as well: the rights and security of women never become election issues.

This story for INews by Divya Arya gives more background:

India has seen an internet revolution of a different kind in the past few years. Low-cost smartphones, cheap data and popular social media apps have enabled vast rural parts of the country to stream videos like never before. Pornhub, widely reported to be the world’s largest porn website, claims that India is now the third largest consumer of its content in the world after the United States and United Kingdom. The majority of its content in India is accessed using mobiles.

For many young Indian men, their introduction to sex is the first time they watch porn. India does have an Adolescent Education Program but implementation remains a challenge and girls and boys rarely mix with each other in smaller cities and villages. As I started travelling and talking to young men about this for a new BBC World Service documentary airing as part of the 100 Women season, the impact of watching porn in the absence of real interaction with women became clear. It was not only leading to objectification of women in their mind, but also re-enforcing the entitlement men have traditionally felt on women’s life decisions. In marriage, motherhood and desire to work, women remain secondary citizens…

Multiple men confirmed to me that videos of molestation, and professionally shot violent pornographic content, both were the most searched content online in cities as well as more rural areas. As more violent content became available, watching simple sex stopped being the preference for many. These men confided about wanting to replicate what they saw online and some of them explained that it did affect their personal relationships adversely.

Clicked on a link within the original story about a related story and it opened with a situation that sounded all too familiar to me:

On his many trips to Internet cafes in the bustling central Indian city of Indore, lawyer Kamlesh Vaswani discovered what he calls the “epidemic” of pornography.

“I would go to download important Supreme Court judgments, and pornographic adverts would pop up instead. And when I looked around, I saw rows of children surfing porn openly without a care in the world,” 

There are calls for bans on porn but there are fears this will lead to banning sites regarding sexual health, even breast cancer.

Here’s an hour-long documentary from BBC’s 100 Women series about the proliferation of online porn in India via smartphones.

I’m glad to see the discussions about what to do about the massive increase in the use of smartphones and social media leading to widespread myth-spreading and all of the consequences of that – but what about this very real issues of these online tools being used to promote and encourage violence against women?

Also see:

Tearing down women who dare to lead

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The next time you see a glowing article about or an interview with a woman who has started her own initiative or nonprofit in the town or neighborhood where she lives, or who is running for office, or who is leading a fight against some polluter or oppressor in her area, no matter what country it’s happening in, consider what this woman is probably dealing with that isn’t talked about in the article: vicious, constant personal attacks and criticisms.

In a blog I wrote a year ago, called Barriers to women’s leadership we don’t talk about, I wrote about women in other countries who pay a hefty price in their attempts to be ambitious at work and exert any kind of leadership, particularly via gossip but also per constant insults and criticisms from other women. And I noted that those barriers happen right here in the USA to women who try to lead in some way, small or large.

Women are continually, regularly discouraged from thinking of themselves as powerful or ambitious or worthy of leading in any efforts, no matter how large or small. When women try to lead – whether on a project or even just regarding a topic during a discussion- the reaction can be discouraging or even ugly. The reactions come from colleagues, from the community, even from those they try to serve. Even from family members.

Women who try to lead are often subjected to insults and attacks designed specifically to prey on personal fears and insecurities. I’ve certainly it experienced myself. Newly-elected congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is experiencing it to a degree that would make most people wither – any Internet search of her name will illustrate it. 

Right here in the small town in Oregon where I live, a few years ago, a young woman decided to create a participatory project that she hoped would build community cohesion, something the population was struggling with. She planned carefully, encouraged and welcomed participation, shared decision-making and made it completely transparent, and personally reached out and guided participants in the project, all while making sure her vision was always at the forefront – it was about that vision, not about her. The project flourished: more and more people participated and her vision was being realized: more and more people became aware of local government meetings and action (and how to participate in such), new resources from the county public health office, road conditions, and even new restaurant openings. Rumors were quickly squashed. Neighbors were helping each other – neighbors who might never have met otherwise. Involvement in her project grew to a number that was more than 25% of the population, and it included me – I was skeptical at first, but quickly bought into her efforts. A newspaper wrote a story about her efforts. At a debate for candidates running for local office, two candidates talked about her project in their remarks and how it was so important to the community and they wanted to better leverage it.

But some people didn’t like her success. A small minority of participants provided constant public and private criticism of how she moderated and facilitated activities and how she reinforced the goals of the project, and rarely was the criticism constructive. People who violated the project’s policies – policies that are in writing and about which regular reminders are sent – were angry when they were gently reprimanded, even if that reprimand happened well behind the scenes, discreetly. They were furious when their actions, in violation of the written policies, lead them to being blocked from further participation. The founder received personal insults via direct message and text, like the one posted next to this paragraph (it’s one of the milder ones, actually). At least one person created a fake account on Facebook and posted outrageous messages, trying to make people think it was the group founder. At least three rival projects were launched by disgruntled former participants  – all failed after just a few weeks or months. But that tiny, vocal, persistent minority and their constant insults and attacks finally did her in: after four years, she resigned her role as project owner and manager, not because she thought the project needed fresh leadership, not because there were people who had demonstrated that they were ready to take over, but because, emotionally, she just couldn’t take the belittling and abusive comments anymore. It will now be up to the remaining volunteers to keep the project going. And maybe the project will continue. But what I’m worried about is that she’s probably going to continue to be targeted for comments by people in any endeavor she undertakes in this small town because she DARED to lead.

For anyone who offers advice for women who want to be leaders that is focused on smoothing out presentation style and being more gentle or diplomatic, I say, quite frankly: bollocks. Being overly concerned by one’s image with everyone or even the most vocal group of critics, however large or small, diminishes that person’s mental and emotional resources needed for leadership. People who are distracted about how everyone else perceives them – or even a vocal minority – are less clear about their goals and less capable of reaching them. And make no mistake: women are targeted by this kind of criticism far, far more than men.

I hate most of the articles I have ever read on women’s leadership. One I did not hate is Women Rising: The Unseen Barriers by Herminia Ibarra, Robin J. Ely and Deborah M. Kolb. A version of the article was published in the September 2013 issue of Harvard Business Review. And I loved this quote from the article in particular:

Integrating leadership into one’s core identity is particularly challenging for women, who must establish credibility in a culture that is deeply conflicted about whether, when, and how they should exercise authority. 

The reality is that effective leaders must have the confidence, and maybe even arrogance, to take initiative and action despite insults and criticisms. They have to know when a criticism is something to be considered, something to be used for improvement, and when it’s meant solely to be spiteful, to undermine and derail efforts and to personally attack someone and undermine their confidence. Effective leaders must be firmly anchored in their purpose. They need to always keep their cause, mission, project, objective, key message, whatever it is, as the first and foremost priority in all they do, and remember that everything they do needs to be true to that cause or message – a cause or message bigger than themselves. Absolutely, leaders need to listen to and consider comments and criticism about their performance – but they also need to know when to ignore insults. They need to know when they are hearing constructive criticism and when something is being said or done solely to tear someone down. And that can be difficult for even the best leaders.

When men are firmly anchored in their purpose, they are admired as confident. When women do this – well, we all know what is said about women who do this. But maybe instead of telling women to alter their behaviors if they want to be leaders, we need to start calling out the double standards in how we describe and respond to women leaders.

Updated April 15, 2021: A comic strip demonstrates the challenges women face online. It’s developed by Kenya ICT Action Network (KICTANet). In a story of three differently aged, differently shaped and differently employed women, we see what violence can look like online, how the seemingly harmless can actually contribute to it, and what we can all do to prevent it and to create a safer space for women online.

Also see:

Barriers to women’s leadership we don’t talk about

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Initiatives to encourage or cultivate leadership among women anywhere in the world, whether in the USA or Pakistan or anywhere in between, tend to focus on things like public speaking, how to prepare for and manage a meeting, how to build a strategy, how to manage conflict, etc. But they often avoid very complicated societal issues that often keep women out of leadership positions.

Take a friend of mine who lives in a “stan” country: she is committed to doing great work in any task she undertakes. She sometimes needs explicit examples of what is wanted in a task, but once she gets that, she can absolutely do most any task at hand, and it’s meant she’s accumulated responsibilities quickly. She enjoys working with people who are just as committed to doing quality work as she is and who also want to learn. She particularly enjoys working with international staff, because of the wealth of knowledge they have, their confidence and her perception regarding their openness.

But all of that commitment to hard work and attraction to learning and working with foreign workers often sets her up for hostilities with her co-workers, particularly other women. She struggles with the pervasive culture in her country that discourages women from leading or being ambitious. She must be very conscious of gossip, and I think she feels it is a constant balance between doing a good job but not “showing off” or trying to be “better.” because such could be seen as acting immodest or un-Islamic. There is incredible pressure in her country for women to appear gracious and modest at all times, and this can mean not being able to follow the advice she might find online about how to be a leader. She works well on a team and wants everyone to succeed and is very happy to help others, but sometimes holds back from offering ideas because she does not want to be perceived as pushy or arrogant – which she never is, but she’s afraid of the reputation nonetheless. A patriarchal society often has women among its most ardent supporters, and it’s the women she works with that are the most intolerant of a woman who seems to seek opportunities to speak in public and work with foreigners. I think she would lead more if she could see other women in her country doing so, on a day-to-day basis, and how they handle obstacles, challenges, criticisms and accusations of being too ambitious or immodest. That she has managed to be successful in her career to this point is a statement on her persistence and her care at navigating the cultural minefields of her country (and, perhaps, the literal ones as well).

If you doubt my colleague’s reasons for being timid in the workplace, then think about Malala Yousafzai: loved abroad, maligned in Pakistan. Before being shot by terrorists, Malala had been campaigning for girls’ right to education in her home village and was a vocal critic of Islamic extremists. She was praised internationally for writing about Taliban oppression in a BBC blog. After being shot and while in recovery, she has become an international icon of resistance, empowerment of women and right to education. Her continued work has prompted numerous international awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize in 2016. But in her own country, she is derided by many, including women. Many in Pakistan accuse her of being a US agent, of being un-Islamic, of being immodest, and of trying to undermine her country and its culture. She is a frequent target for scorn, ridicule and hatred by everyday Pakistanis – if you doubt it, look at any international news Facebook page features her and read the comments. In Why Pakistan Hates Malala, Michael Kugelman of the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars said,

Malala is no national hero. Revered by many abroad, she is reviled by many at home, including among middle-class Pakistanis one might imagine would be her greatest fans… 

As I noted in this blog from 2015:

There’s another reason that keeps so many women in (various) countries off of social media as well: the Tall Poppy Syndrome. People talking about an accomplishment can be seen as bragging, and many feel that tall flower has to be cut down to the same size as all the others. The phrase is particularly popular in Australia, though some people say it isn’t success that offends Australians but, rather, someone that acts superior. But in many places, a woman saying anything on social media, except for praising the deity of her religion, is seen as bragging – and she becomes a target for her “tall” reputation being cut down.

It can be just as bad anywhere, of course: it’s not at all limited by religion or one particular regional culture. I have witnessed in a variety of places, with a variety of women, even in the USA. For instance, see Why Black Women Love to Hate On Black Women. Or this article from a Latino woman talking about how to stay true to herself and her Latino identity at the same time. Also, see this article about racism within the American Indian community, which isn’t about just women, but about a kind of racial competition that can happen among native Americans – the sentiments are similar.

Why do some women turn on other women at work, especially among women that are so disempowered in so many ways in their society? I’ve wondered if it isn’t rooted in that disempowerment, if a woman striking out against another woman, simply because she is a woman, is because it’s the only acceptable way in her society to exert any kind of power. because it’s the only acceptable way to show leadership: by tearing another woman down.

The price a woman pays for exerting leadership is not small: it can mean little punishments at work from co-workers, like being excluded from lunch invitations or outside-of-work social events that build comradery among co-workers. It can mean not being told about meetings and opportunities. Social identity is a person’s sense of who they are based on their group membership(s), and some psychologists believe that insecurity and a big drop in self-esteem arises when the “community” accuses a member of abandoning that group. The result can be gossip so vicious that a woman leaves a job rather than bring suspicion on her “honor,” something that can have dire consequences in her social circles and with her family.

How do we teach women to balance the demands of their culture’s view of women and the very real consequences of violating those unwritten rules with their own desires to lead and grow? Do we encourage them to try to delight in rebelling and to no longer care what their family, their tribe, may think? I think it’s reckless to encourage women to have ambition in developing countries and not also talk about what could be the consequences of such.

I’ve been trying to think of advice that would be helpful to women in environments that are restrictive regarding women’s behavior, particularly in developing countries, and it’s been difficult, because so much of the advice about helping women in the workplace are focused on women in the West, living in corporate cultures where, while there are substantial restrictions, they aren’t nearly Research hasn’t produced much. The best I can come up with is adapting some suggestions from How to Be a Workplace Ally from LeanIn.Org:

  • When you hear a woman called “bossy” or “shrill,” request a specific example of what the woman did to merit this label. Then ask, “Would you have the same reaction if a man did the same thing?” In many cases, the answer will be no. When you’re having a negative response to a woman at work, ask yourself the same question and give her the benefit of the doubt.
  • Look for opportunities to boost other women’s confidence. When you introduce female coworkers, highlight their credentials and accomplishments—for example, you might say, “Fatima was in charge of our last annual report, and it was more detailed than any report our agency has ever produced.”
  • Get together with other women, talk openly about this issue, agree to commit to being each other’s allies and agree to celebrate one another’s successes and to help each other address professional challenges.

And I’ll add three more:

  • Respect confidentiality of your women co-workers in particular. No matter how tempting, do not share information you know a woman does not want others to know, and respect anything you have been told in confidence.
  • When others gossip, do not respond at all, unless it is to say, “This makes me uncomfortable.”
  • Thank co-workers for all of their contributions, however small, to your own work. Thank them in front of an entire group, such as at a staff meeting.

What are your ideas?

Updated April 15, 2021: A comic strip demonstrates the challenges women face online. It’s developed by Kenya ICT Action Network (KICTANet). In a story of three differently aged, differently shaped and differently employed women, we see what violence can look like online, how the seemingly harmless can actually contribute to it, and what we can all do to prevent it and to create a safer space for women online.

Also see:

online communities, sexual harassment & hate speech – UNESCO weighs in

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During the 62 Session of the Commission on the Status of Women (CSW62), UNESCO participated in an event exploring the role of online communities in relations to sexual harassment and hate speech. The event took place on 13 March at the Permanent Mission of Finland to the United Nations in New York and other partners were Ministry of Social Affairs and Health in Finland, National Institute for Health and Welfare and Kenya Human Rights Commission.

Interventions to combat the online hate speech were presented including a guidebook, #WeWillNotBeSilent – What is hate speech and what it has got to do with gender? (PDF)

This multi-stakeholder effort raises awareness of the (sexist) hate speech and offers guidance for youth on responding and preventing (sexist) hate speech online.

Currently, 1 in 5 women using the Internet lives in countries where abuse of women is likely to go unpunished and 73 percent of women online have experienced some form of online violence.

Gender equality is one of UNESCO’s global priorities and well reflected in UNESCO’s interventions. These include efforts to counter online hate speech, empowering women and girls to harness digital and media literacy skills, promoting the safety of women journalists and gender parity in media. UNESCO is also addressing the issue through the development of international frameworks to build an open, human rights based, accessible and pluralistic knowledge societies and media environments.

Also see this publication, Countering online hate speech

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