Category Archives: Supporting people / a community / a cause

Your Nonprofit CAN Resist. Here’s how.

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A cartoonish hand is palm facing the viewer, as if to say stop.

The following comment is on a subreddit now, posted anonymously (and I have a screen capture in case it gets deleted):

Welp, it finally happened. The national office of the small non-profit I work for has asked the whole organization to remove any DEI related language from our website and social media. Not because their stance on supporting DEI has changed, but because they are afraid that the current administration will cut our federal funding.

This goes beyond removing any “diversity and inclusion” statements. They are asking us to remove all individual instances & variations of the words diversity, equity, and inclusion.

I’m pushing back. I won’t win, but I’ll push back anyways.

My advice to this web site manager, and to everyone else: say no. I wrote in directly to word his “no” this way, in writing:

I will not remove language on the web site with regard to diversity, equity or inclusion. I will not remove information from the web site regarding any aspects of human rights or civil rights. If management wants this removed, you will have to do this yourself. If you want to reprimand me, I request that the reprimand be in writing, and please detail the exact language I was refusing to remove. I cannot in good conscience commit the actions you are asking me to.

The likelihood of being fired for this is REALLY remote at a nonprofit, because they are terrified of bad publicity.

I also suggested leaking that the nonprofit HQ was asking affiliates to do this to a credible media outlet, and to keep doing so until someone picks up the story and asks the HQ for comment.

None of this is to punish the nonprofit. But if a nonprofit can be pressured “from the top”, why not from elsewhere, and to actually do the RIGHT thing? Some in senior management will no doubt be grateful that their staff is showing true character and saying no, and that the press has the story and the public can understand what is happening and pressure the nonprofit NOT to do this.

So, to be clear:

If you, a staff person, are asked by a senior staff member or your organization’s HQ to remove information on your web site or social media that affirms any commitment to diversity, equity or inclusion, or that supports racial equality or social justice, you should first ask for the request to be in writing. Say that you cannot follow-up on any such request unless it is in writing. And then, when the request comes in writing, leak it to the press and also refuse to delete the information. Tell management they can do it themselves, but you won’t.

Other ways you can stand up for core values of civility, human rights and dignity:

  • If you are asked by a funder to remove information on your web site or social media that affirms any commitment to diversity, equity or inclusion, or that supports racial equality or social justice, ask for the request to be in writing. Say that you cannot follow-up on any such request unless it is in writing. And then, when the request comes in writing, leak it to the press and also refuse to delete the information.
  • If not removing the language would jeopardize an amount of funding that, if lost, would harm your clients, then remove the language and put a press release on your web site stating that you are removing the funding at the request of whomever is making the request (NAME THEM), have a scan of their communication asking or telling you to do this linked from the web page, and tell people if they would like to see the pre-censored version of the web pages you had to alter, to go to archive.org and look such up. Be sure to share on social media that this is happening.
  • Do not comply with any request by phone from the federal government that involves turning over client or staff personal information to a federal office; tell the requester that the request must be in writing. Consult legal counsel regarding whether or not you legally have to do it.
  • Post on social media about your organization’s commitment to diversity, equity and inclusion, or about activities your organization undertakes regarding such, or regarding related to racial equality or social justice, at least every quarter.
  • Attend public events by nonprofit in your area that are focused on serving minority communities, such as immigrants, refugees, local LBGTQ people, etc. Share a photo of yourself on social media with a member of that nonprofit, celebrating that you are together at the event.
  • Like, and if it’s appropriate, share, on your own social media account, posts of organizations in your area that support refugees and immigrants, LBGTQ people, and anyone else targeted by the current executive branch of government.
  • Go on social media using your organization’s profile and “like” the posts by your area’s elected officials and government offices that acknowledge diversity, equity and inclusion, racial equity, social justice issues, ALL religious holidays, etc.
  • Post acknowledgements at the start of Black History Month (February), Asian American, Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month (May), Pride Month (June), National Hispanic Heritage Month is annually observed (September 15 to October 15), and National American Indian Heritage Month (November).
  • Post acknowledgements of a diversity of religiously-affiliated and “patriot”-affiliated celebratory days:
    • MLK Day
    • Chinese New Year
    • Easter (and perhaps Eastern Orthodox Easter as well, depending on your community)
    • First and Last days of Ramadan (varies each year – in 2025, it may start on Friday, Feb. 28, or Saturday, March 1, 2025)
    • Armed Forces Day (People currently serving in the United States military – celebrate on the third Saturday in May).
    • Memorial Day (last Monday in May)
    • July 4th
    • Labor Day (first Monday in September)
    • Veterans Day November 11
    • Rosh Hashanah
    • Yom Kuppur
    • Christmas.
  • Tell your volunteers they have the right to refuse the Presidential Service Award. Encourage anyone who will do so to write the office in charge and your executive director to say they will be refusing it for at least the next four years.
  • If you have to refer to these regions, then make sure you call them what they are: the Gulf of Mexico and Denali. And spell it Kyiv.
  • Have a plan for what to do if the police or federal law enforcement, such as ICE, shows up at your organization. Make sure all staff know that the first thing to do is to call the Executive Director and to say, “I am not authorized to give you permission to search these premises.” Even if they have a warrant and the Executive has to relent, create time for clients and others to leave the area.

Addition on February 13, from a colleague on LinkedIn:

  • Practical protection for nonprofits – Check your recent email subscribers to see if there was recently added DEIAreports[@]opm[.]gov as a subscription, meant to monitor DEIA activity.
  • Consider temporarily filtering out anyone with .gov email, as the current executive order requires government workers to report any DEIA efforts or face adverse actions.

A final thought on the seriousness of what is happening:

Ever wonder what you would have done at the darkest times of history – when Nazis were about to take over all of Europe and were murdering millions of people, most of them Jewish? When black people were enslaved and tortured regularly and systematically in the USA? During the US Civil Rights movement? When the mass murders of ethnic groups was happening in Rwanda or Srebrenica? – Well, you are doing it now.

BTW, I’m jeopardizing my own career, such that it is, by suggesting all this. Yet, here I am.

Have more ideas? Share them in the comments.

Philanthropy is commendable, but…

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Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., looking thoughtful.

In anticipation of MLK day later this month:

“Philanthropy is commendable, but it must not cause the philanthropist to overlook the circumstances of economic injustice, which make philanthropy necessary.”

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

On a related theme: Shifting Philanthropy From Charity to Justice, from the Stanford Social Innovation Review.

Also see my earlier blogs:

Charity isn’t enough.

Volunteering, by itself, isn’t enough to save the world.

The endangered women left behind in Afghanistan

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This is an account written by an Afghan colleague, with grammar and spelling corrected by me. She was able to flee Afghanistan and now lives in an English-speaking country as a legal refugee. This account is regarding what life is like for her sister back in Kabul, Afghanistan:

When I lived in Afghanistan, I lived with my adult, unmarried sister and my widowed mother, without a male family member, in Kabul. My nieces also frequently stayed with us and I, an unmarried woman, was the head of the household. My brothers lived with their families in Kabul, but across the city from us, and we did not rely on them for shopping or for money. Because of my job, the job of my sister, and a small inheritance from my father, we could all live together, even sometimes travel together, in relative peace and prosperity.

I worked for the Afghan government, as did my sister. We are both university educated. She and I could go to and from work on our own, but when we left the house for appointments, shopping and other tasks, or to walk in a nearby park or to visit relatives, we were accompanied by each other or my mother. This was accepted by society in Kabul before the Taliban.

In the chaos of the Taliban takeover, I was able to flee Afghanistan along with my nieces and my mother. We were able to flee to a country where I had studied many years ago, and we now have asylum here. My nieces, then all under 18, now live in safety. But I had to leave my sister behind, as the government of the country where I live now was unsure if they could count her as my immediate family, and she insisted we go without her and not delay.

After we fled Afghanistan, my sister immediately lost her job, as all women working for the government did, per the orders of the Taliban. She immediately lost her right to go to appointments or shopping for food alone or even with just another female family member – it had to be with a male family member. And she was immediately living by herself. Her male relatives, my brothers, do not live immediately close to her. I am sorry to say our brothers are not helpful to her as they should be, for many reasons: one brother is busy trying to provide for his family, to feed his young sons and ensure their safety. Another brother is dealing with a great deal of drama with a former wife and former in-laws, who are threatening his well-being. Both of my brothers are reluctant to accompany my sister in public, both because they do not see it as a priority and because she has a speech impediment, and in my culture, people with disabilities are not treated well on the streets, with many people openly mocking such people, and my brothers do not know how to deal with such disrespect and mocking (my mother was treated with great respect and no one would mock my sister when she was present).

My sister is an educated, professional woman. She graduated from Kabul University with a Bachelor of Science and she loved her job with the Afghan Ministry she was a part of, working in a small department where she felt her work was very important – I cannot say much about her work for fear she could be identified. She never had health problems, other than her speech impediment, in all of our years together. All of that has changed now.

Her work and life puts her in danger with the Taliban: she is unmarried, she lives alone, she is university educated, she worked for the government, she worked for a program funded by foreign governments that Taliban sees as the enemy, and she has studied and worked alongside men that are not her family members. She sometimes even worked directly with foreigners who represented the US and Canadian funders of her work.

I try to talk to her every day on WhatsApp. I am in great fear for her. I am afraid I will die before I ever see her again.

My sister is now solely reliant on just a few trusted people bringing her food, and doing it in a way that neighbors never see her. She cannot go to doctor’s appointments. She will go days with no interaction with any other human being. The Taliban are targeting Shia Muslims and people of Tajik ethnicity with oppression and physical violence – this is what my family is. My sister’s neighbors support the Taliban and are of a different ethnicity than us, and while they know there is someone in the apartment where my sister is, they are not entirely sure which family members are still there. She lives in constant fear of her neighbors. We believe that if they knew she was there, alone, they would inform on her, to garner favor from the Taliban, and the Taliban would take over the apartment and turn my sister out to beg on the streets, or perhaps decide she has broken their law and punish her physically and put her in prison. She is now, in many ways, in a prison, as she cannot leave her home or even be seen by neighbors. The isolation, lack of human interaction, stress, lack of physical exercise, lack of exposure to the outdoors and lack of regular nutrition are causing her to experience intense headaches. She has recently informed me that she has fainted at least twice and is unsure how long she was unconscious.

And I know she’s not the only one. I know there are more women in her situation – and much worse.

I have filed all of the paperwork with the government where I live for my sister to join me, my mother and my sisters here. I have gone to public meetings with national officials to try to meet them in-person and petition them to help bring my sister here. It’s been almost three years since we fled. I wonder if she will die before her case is even decided, and I fear what a rejection will drive her to do.

It is impossible to find comfort in this land of safety when I know what my sister experiences in Afghanistan. And I know that even in this dire state, she is in a more advantageous position than so many other women, than most women, in the country, at least for now.

I am now at loss of what to do, other than pray.

And I am at a loss of how to help my friend.

Why you need to focus on your own media literacy – & a New Year’s Resolution idea

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images meant to look like cave drawings, one of a woman using a smartphone and one at a desktop computer.

We all have an obligation to increase our media literacy – every one of us. And I think every human resources office at every company, nonprofit, school, whatever, should consider it a mandate to educate staff regularly regarding media literacy.

The Center for Media Literacy (CML) defines media literacy as “a framework to access, analyze, evaluate, create and participate with messages in a variety of forms — from print to video to the Internet.” CML also notes that media literacy builds an understanding of the role of media in society as well as essential skills of inquiry and self-expression necessary for citizens of a democracy.

CML defines media literacy as the ability to:

  • Decode media messages (including the systems in which they exist);
  • Assess the influence of those messages on thoughts, feelings, and behaviors; and
  • Create media thoughtfully and conscientiously.

The ability to navigate within our complex and ever-changing media landscape depends on acquiring skills and tools to know how to consume and evaluate information, ask critical questions, avoid manipulation, and engage in digital spaces safely and confidently.

We already see the negative impact that media can have – is having – on people, including children. CML says that the negative impacts on children:

  • Online safety
  • Cyberbullying
  • Low self-esteem
  • Depression and suicide
  • Substance abuse and other risky behaviors
  • Negative body image
  • Reinforcement of stereotypes

They also note “incorrect information”, but this is also a big danger for adults as well, which can lead to violence, to economic instability, to poor, even deadly health choices, and to ill-informed political decisions that end up harming entire communities and countries.

CML’s resource library is primarily focused on young people, and the resources are excellent, but there’s also a huge need for better media literacy among adults – and not just the elderly. CML’s materials can certainly be adapted for adult audiences, and there are other resources as well, such as AARP’s Fraud Network Watch and the American Library Association (ALA)’s Media Literacy in the Library: A Guide for Library Practitioners (PDF) that offers resources and ideas to plan programs and activities to teach media literacy skills to adults. The latter is a resource for library staff, but anyone can use it.

Please understand: I have been online since 1994 or so. I have been advocating for people to leverage online tools and networks for decades. I don’t think the Internet has caused misinformation, bullying, depression, etc., but it has amplified misinformation to an astounding degree. Our online networked world has magnified or intensified messages and disinformation, vastly increasing the reach of such on a scale never, ever seen before. The way to meet this challenge is not to ban the Internet or online tools; it’s to raise all of our levels of online literacy.

I challenge you to accept that you – yes, YOU – have believed misinformation online. Every person has. Look for how you have: did you share a meme or story that turned out not to be true? Did you “like” a video that turned out not to be what you thought it represented? Whatever it was, you need to recognize when you do it, acknowledge it, and learn from it. And if you don’t believe that you have believed misinformation online, then you absolutely are in denial.

I also challenge you to make a commitment to be more positive online in 2024. Take time to just go through your social media and”like” the posts that are positive from friends and family – and even better, to comment on them. Go through your social media feed once a week and “like” posts from nonprofits and community programs you care about – and, even better, comment on them. Post photos to social media that you have taken yourself to social media of beautiful or fun or heart-warming things. Post about an event you have attended, or that you will attend: a farmer’s market, a yard sale, a high school band concert, whatever. Post about a class you’re taking, a book you are reading, a TV show or movie you recently enjoyed, music you love. You can still post political commentary, still post rants, but I’m challenging you to make a deliberate effort to balance that, to even OVER balance that, with something positive, something helpful or something civic-minded. Post about ANYTHING you are grateful for: your dog, your cat, the weather, a new season of your favorite show, whatever.

Here’s more about the damage of online misinformation.

If you have benefited from this blog, my other blogs, or other parts of my web site and would like to support the time that went into researching information, developing material, preparing articles, updating pages, etc. (I receive no funding for this work), here is how you can help. 

Love for NGOs in Belize

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A montage of four photos, each representing one of the NGOs that is highlighted below. The first photo is of a gift shop, the second is of an adorable puppy, the next is of children in a library, and the last is of a natural spring swimming hole in Belize.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and in honor of love, I’m going to show some love for the NGOs I interacted with or noticed while on my recent two-week trip to Belize.

I was not volunteering in Belize; I was vacationing. But when I travel, I always do so with a mind to transire benefaciendo: “to travel along while doing good.” So here’s a thread to highlight some awesome NGOs I encountered as a tourist in Belize:

The Belize Audubon Society. They staffed some of the sanctuaries and parks we visited. And staff was always AWESOME. Note: they have volunteering opportunities!

Cayo Animal Welfare Society. It’s the Humane Society serving San Ignacio / Santa Elena and the Cayo District of Belize. I wrote them about a disturbing incident of dog abuse by the people operating a snack shack at Cahal Pech & they promptly wrote back.

Maya Center Women’s Group. They have a cultural center & gift shop at the entrance of Cockscomb Basin Wildlife Sanctuary. They are local artisans & by purchasing from them, you help sustain their families. They are lovely to talk to.

Miss Bertie’s Hopkins Community Library. We walked by it every day we were in Hopkins, Belize. But I never went in, because it was either closed or OH so busy & I didn’t want to be a bother. But what an important resource!

Please show them some love as well: go like some of their Facebook posts. If you can, make a financial donation to any or all of them!

Why did these groups get my attention? Because I encountered them while visiting a site and they were particularly helpful, because they had a great presence wherever they were located and that presence jumped out at me when I went by, and/or because I asked them a question online and they responded. Does YOUR nonprofit or NGO meet all of that criteria, wherever it is in the world?

And next time you travel, I hope you will consider keeping in mind transire benefaciendo.

Nonprofits: legislation & politics are affecting your staff & clients.

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An image to depict social cohesion and team work and interconnectedness: images of four human like figures, each a different color, holding hands and leaning back - if one breaks hands, it will mean that, eventually, all will fall backwards.

Nonprofits, community groups and other mission-based programs in the USA need to be aware that legislation and politics are affecting your staff (employees and volunteers) and your clients/customers. Such is affecting their families and their day-to-day life, their health care, the life-altering choices they can make, their participation in society, and on and on. And that means it’s also going to affect staff job performance with you and potentially affect the impact you can have with clients/customers.

Regardless of your own personal politics and regardless of your organization’s mission, you need to be aware of how legislation and politics are affecting your staff and to think about how you are, or are not, going to support staff as this is happening.

You have employee, volunteers and clients who may become pregnant and need to seek abortion services. Or maybe denied access to abortion services despite an ectopic pregnancy, an incomplete miscarriage, placental problems and premature rupture of membranes. How are you going to support them as they undergo these experiences?

You have employees, volunteers and clients who have same-sex marriages, something the US Supreme Court may overturn. If that happens, and their marriages are declared invalid, will you continue to give spousal benefits for staff, such as maternity leave or health care coverage? If that happens but those marriages remain valid, but no more can happen, will you give spousal benefits, such as maternity leave or health care coverage, to those staff members now forbidden by law from marrying? Will you still send track the names of those partners in your database if you do so already?

For an election, some states are putting just one ballot drop box to serve an entire county, or prohibiting most people from applying for absentee ballots. Are you going to give your employees and volunteers paid time off to vote on election day? Are you going to make sure staff and clients know about non-partisan voter education programs, like guides from the League of Women Voters, and debates?

Some staff have family members who are not legally in the country and are living in day-to-day danger of being deported, and if such happens, it could not only mean the separation of a loved one, but sudden changes regarding income, in options regarding child care, and more. What will you do to support such staff?

Consequences of not thinking about this or addressing it:

  • You will lose employees and volunteers.
  • The productivity and performance of employees and volunteers could be affected, which affects your service delivery.
  • Inaction may go against your stated organizational values.

Note I’m not asking you to take a political stance. The IRS wording on the Restriction of Political Campaign Intervention by nonprofits is clear: 

Under the Internal Revenue Code, all section 501(c)(3) organizations are absolutely prohibited from directly or indirectly participating in, or intervening in, any political campaign on behalf of (or in opposition to) any candidate for elective public office. Contributions to political campaign funds or public statements of position (verbal or written) made on behalf of the organization in favor of or in opposition to any candidate for public office clearly violate the prohibition against political campaign activity.  Violating this prohibition may result in denial or revocation of tax-exempt status and the imposition of certain excise taxes.

Certain activities or expenditures may not be prohibited depending on the facts and circumstances.  For example, certain voter education activities (including presenting public forums and publishing voter education guides) conducted in a non-partisan manner do not constitute prohibited political campaign activity. In addition, other activities intended to encourage people to participate in the electoral process, such as voter registration and get-out-the-vote drives, would not be prohibited political campaign activity if conducted in a non-partisan manner.

On the other hand, voter education or registration activities with evidence of bias that (a) would favor one candidate over another; (b) oppose a candidate in some manner; or (c) have the effect of favoring a candidate or group of candidates, will constitute prohibited participation or intervention.

But if you think politics isn’t personal and can’t affect a nonprofit, whether it’s a performing arts center or a literacy program or an animal rescue group, think again.

And you should consider mentioning to funders how these state and federal actions are affecting your staff, your clients and your work in general. They should know.

If you have benefited from this blog, my other blogs, or other parts of my web site and would like to support the time that went into researching information, developing material, preparing articles, updating pages, etc. (I receive no funding for this work), here is how you can help. 

Volunteer to support a family from Afghanistan in the USA: form a sponsor circle

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The USA has evacuated thousands of Afghans in desperate need of safety, per the takeover by the Taliban, a terrorist group that does not believe women should be a part of public society and wants to require everyone in the country to live by their very strict views. Thousands of these Afghans are at military bases across the USA awaiting placement in welcoming communities. 

No matter where you are located in the USA, you can welcome an Afghan family and provide them with the practical support they need to get settled – by your serving as a certified sponsor circle. As a sponsor circle, you and your neighbors will volunteer to take on tasks like finding initial housing, stocking the pantry, connecting children to school, providing initial income support, and helping adults to find employment.

  1. Communities Circle Up: Bring together at least five adults in your neighborhood to form a sponsor circle. Complete background checks, fundraise, and prepare to submit your group’s application for certification.
  2. Members Make a Plan: Check your knowledge of what is needed to serve as a sponsor circle and prepare a Welcome Plan in advance of being matched with a newcomer. Support in completing your Welcome Plan is available!
  3. Circles Welcome Newcomers: Once certified, sponsor circle volunteers will welcome the newcomer directly into the community and provide tailored support through the initial integration process.

Each sponsor circle must fundraise a minimum of $2,275 per individual you will support. That means, if your sponsor circle is going to support a family of three, you will need to raise $6,825.

Each sponsor group must commit to providing a minimum of 90-days of reception and welcome support to an Afghan newcomer family. At least one sponsor circle member has to complete the required knowledge check, an online training program.

RefugePoint, which has been rescuing and resettling refugees for decades, is the NGO stationed at U.S. military bases to assign Afghans to circles for absorption.

Complete information about the web site sponsorcircles.org.

Also see this piece about this program by Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner.

Also see:

My request to my US congressional representatives regarding Afghan refugees

Digital Dunkirk: online volunteers scramble to help endangered Afghans get visas & out of Afghanistan

If you ignore women in Afghanistan, development efforts there will fail (2017)

What we will need for live theater to continue

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I’d like to see a nationwide flourishing of the regional theater movement, with local theaters considering how best to earn the title of an essential service in their particular community, while being supported and valued by that community and the government. A WPA Federal Theatre Project for a new century, perhaps. — Statement by Michael Cerveris, Tony-winning actor of Fun Home., in this L A Times Article article.

Some of the most exciting, fulfilling times of my life were working far off stage, working to promote live theatre, live performance, not just marketing a show but promoting the value of all arts to our communities, to social cohesion, to education, to mental health and on and on.

Artists, being artists, are talking about what artistic ventures they want to pursue when performance spaces open again, once the risk of COVID-19 has been drastically reduced, and that’s GREAT… but I’ve been looking for something that makes me say, Okay, there it is, this is what we need to ensure theater emerges from this pandemic with a real, solid future.

I finally read the statement that makes me give something to support and advocate for. Cerveris words stopped me in my tracks. To me, they are what every theater in the USA, and every person that loves theater, needs to work towards. And it has to be more than government support; we have to build relationships with and pressure on the cash-flush corporations all around us to give substantial monetary support to ensure live theater continues.

More about the USA Work Progress Administration Federal Theatre Project.

Also see highlights and resources from the research for my final paper for my Master’s Degree, regarding the non-artistic elements necessary for success in “Theater as a Tool for Development” initiatives.

The Privilege of Being “Weird”

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@malihaness

Somewhere in Afghanistan, and Kenya, and Mexico, and all sorts of other “developing” countries, there is a woman who dreams – or dreamed – of being a filmmaker. Or a dancer. Or a comedian. Or a mountain climber. Or a skateboarder. Or a marathon runner. Or a creator of comic book super heroes. She has, or had, the drive, the passion, the desire, and maybe even the talent for it.

But while these women are – or were – physically and mentally able to do those things – they can or could do it – they are or were not allowed to do it – they may not do it.

Think of her: no one around her may be aware of this dream and she may suffer entirely in silence, burning with the desire to pursue this activity. But she doesn’t dare even try: imagine her showing up with her skateboard to a skate park and being chased away by the boys and men there. Imagine dancing as an act that would make her ostracized, at best, and even a target for killing by her own family, at worst. Imagine putting on a puppet show and the event being seen an act of subversion by the government because women performing in public, even with a puppet, is a no-no. Imagine wanting to run in foot races and becoming the target of a shaming campaign by local religious leaders.

Imagine just wanting to move your body a certain way, or just wanting to make people laugh, and being forbidden from doing that.

It actually doesn’t even have to be that dire to prevent a girl or woman from pursuing a dream: imagine a girl right here in the USA, someone who is black or of Latino or Asian heritage, or is perceived as a member of a tribal nation, who can’t get cast in even a community theatre play, can’t get on the lineup at a comedy club no matter how many open mic nights she participates in, can’t get anyone to watch the short, hilarious film she has on YouTube, gets ridiculed when she shows up at a Sci Fi convention, and on top of all that, gets demeaned by her family and peers for even trying to do any of those things. Think about all the years on Saturday Night Live that there was no cast member that was female and black – and, yes, there WERE, and are, female, black comedians.

I thought about this when I read Eric Idle’s autobiography, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. I enjoyed it so, so much, but I also thought about what a privilege it is to be able to say, “I’m going to this open mic night and I’m performing a sketch.” Or to delight in being an outsider or being weird – doing things and pursuing dreams that are quite different from what is perceived as “the norm” by your family and friends and immediate community. It doesn’t sound like that big of a deal to make your family and friends and immediate community uncomfortable to most Americans – but it’s a huge deal for many people, especially women. Being able to do those things is a right, an opportunity, that millions of people don’t know and will never know. They won’t know them because of lack of opportunity. Because of culture. Or even because of laws and because of the danger.

Have you seen the videos of the rush for tickets in Bangladesh for Avengers End Game? I’ve watched them a few times now. I can’t see any women or girls in that rush. But I know there are women and girls in Bangladesh that would love to see that movie just as much as the men running for that box office.

I think about how lucky I’ve been in pursuing my dreams and passions, both professionally and personally and, yes, delighting in being different, an outsider. I’ve done some crazy things, and I have the photos to prove it – and thank goodness, a lot of times there was no camera around. It is a privilege to mortify your family in public by breaking out into song at inappropriate moments or to dance at the grocery store when a certain song comes on. It is a privilege for a teenage girl to prepare to go out to a midnight showing, dressed as a character in the movie, and for Mom to stare at her in silence for a few moments and then finally say, “Well, have fun.”

Professionally, things have slowed down for me substantially, and I have been lamenting that a lot, resenting it because I don’t at all feel ready to retire, but then I think of all those women and girls, in all those countries, in all those places, even right here in the USA, burning to do things they may not do. So I decided to amplify some of the NGOs working to help girls and women not only dream, but to pursue those dreams, that are so different than “the norm.” Afghanistan is near and dear to my heart, and here are some of the organizations that, were I a millionaire, I would love to support:

Bond Street Theatre has been working in Afghanistan since 2003.  Its goal is to introduce theatre-based educational programs in Afghanistan, especially targeting women and girls who have few outlets for creative expression, and to help revitalize the performing arts after years of cultural repression.

Skateistan is an award-winning international non-profit organization providing programs combining skateboarding and education to children and youth in Afghanistan, Cambodia and South Africa. “Through the hook of skateboarding, we engage with children, especially girls and youth from low-income backgrounds, giving them access to safe spaces and education and provide valuable life skills that go beyond the skatepark and the classroom.”

The Afghanistan National Institute of Music (ANIM) “provides a dynamic, challenging, and safe learning environment for all students regardless of their gender, ethnicity, religious sect, or socio-economic circumstances.  We focus especially on supporting the most disadvantaged children in Afghanistan – orphans, street-working vendors and girls.”

Community Supported Film fosters good governance and equitable societies by training grassroots activists in documentary filmmaking and using their films to inform public opinion and policy. This includes Afghanistan.

But you don’t have to look to Afghanistan or some other country to find girls and women and other marginalized groups worthy of your support in pursuing artistic or athletic dreams. In or near your community in a “developed” country, there are theatres, dance companies, music groups, even improv groups, as well as running clubs, hiking clubs, kayak classes, karate classes and more for immigrants, refugees, ethnic minorities, and, indeed, women and girls. Look for them, go see a performance or a match or whatever. Look for a roller derby bout in your area – roller derby is my favorite thing in Portland, Oregon. Look for women and girls on Twitter pursuing their cos-play dreams and “like” their posts. Blog about it. Share it on social media. And if there is a nonprofit associated with whatever it is you see happening, donate to it.

Also, check out Geeky Muslimah, a blog about “the Muslim geek experience,” and the Twitter account Black Girl Geeks.

And one final note: 14 years ago, I finished my Master’s project at Open University, on the non-artistic elements that need to be in place for theater, dance or other performance to work as a tool for development – as part of a public health project, a reconciliation campaign, an effort to change attitudes about something, etc. In case you want some light reading…

Updated April 15, 2021: A comic strip demonstrates the challenges women face online. It’s developed by Kenya ICT Action Network (KICTANet). In a story of three differently aged, differently shaped and differently employed women, we see what violence can look like online, how the seemingly harmless can actually contribute to it, and what we can all do to prevent it and to create a safer space for women online.

If you have benefited from this blog or other parts of my web site and would like to support the time that went into developing material, researching information, preparing articles, updating pages, etc., here is how you can help.

Also see:

Myths about sex trafficking abound in the USA

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A law enforcement action in Michigan earlier this year lead to a series of misleading TV news articles about it, and posts like this on online groups across the USA, including one for a group where I live in Oregon:

Nearly half of Michigan’s missing children were being trafficked, and we don’t know about the other half.

Don’t you dare tell me that I’m overreacting when someone is acting strangely around my kids!

That social media post is by a woman who believes, mistakenly, that young people, mostly white girls, who are trafficked for sex are kidnapped by strangers. She’s part of a much larger group of people in the USA who mistakenly believe that there are bands of men, usually foreigners, roaming around looking for girls – white girls specifically – to abduct and force into sex trafficking. Movies like 2008’s Taken add fuel to this far-fetched legend. So do things like this: a doctored image posted to a very popular Facebook group that targeted an Oregon small town specifically, with a claim by a woman that she had been accosted by strangers who wanted to buy her baby (a white baby). In this case, thankfully, the community quickly rallied to debunk the rumor, but it’s another example of how people promote the myth of strangers abducting children – primarily white children – to force them into sexual slavery.

The reality is that a trafficker of teens for sex can be the older brother or father of one of your children’s friends. It can be a guy who frequents places where young people gather, like a shopping center. It’s someone who entrances the teens there with gifts and romantic talk. Too often, parents’ response to the idea of sex traffickers is “Beware of strangers!” But traffickers aren’t strangers to the teens they target: they are charming, funny, fun and they know how to make teens feel all the things they long to feel – especially about feeling like an adult.

Traffickers befriend vulnerable young people who have low self-esteem or want to feel beautiful/handsome, loved, included or more grown up. And they do this befriending in places parents have approved for the teen to be: school, an after-school job, the mall, a community of faith, a friend’s house – and, yes, sometimes, online. These predators look for someone who is angry with their parents or not doing well in school or who has run away or who is just feeling really, alone and unwanted, and they offer sympathy. They look for young people who feel ugly and rejected – maybe a boyfriend has dumped the young person, or the young person has never had a romantic relationship and feels like they never will. Young people with disabilities are targets because they want to feel like “normal” teens. Traffickers are happy to shower any of these vulnerable young people in gifts and attention and a feeling of being heard and included. Traffickers draw their victims into trusting relationships and, through a mix of flattery and gifts and abuse, are able to reach a point of complete control over the person, and they are eventually able to use their victims in any way they wish – and the young person often feels like he or she is consenting to what eventually happens, in terms of sex and abuse.

A June 2017 article in Psychology Today noted that a Polaris Project report found that

32 percent of sex trafficking victims were recruited through a friend. Hotspots for recruitment are homeless shelters, rehab facilities, jails, malls, and foster homes. In fact, abductions accounted for only a tiny percentage of victims’ stories. Most victims are not kidnapped, drugged, chained or locked up in a home or workplace. Sometimes they don’t even experience physical abuse because the traffickers don’t want to leave physical evidence that may reveal the abuse. Instead, they use psychological abuse, threats, and manipulation. Some victims even have cell phones and can get permission to leave to go outside to places like a health clinic, a grocery store, or even church.

A survivor of the sex trafficking trade in Portland, Oregon shared some of her experiences with Think Out Loud, a radio program produced by OPB. The Lloyd Center is a mall in downtown Portland:

I was actually recruited out of Lloyd Center. There’s a lot of different recruiting areas in Portland, Lloyd Center being a huge one…If a 16-year-old runs away from home and she takes the bus out to 82nd, within 72 hours she will be picked up by a pimp. The scary thing about pimps is they are masterminds.

In an interview by Audrey Meschter with Multnomah County, Oregon Sheriff Deputy Keith Bickford, Bickford said:

Something that really stuck in my head is how effective these guys are when it comes to brainwashing these girls… Turning them on their own families, their friends, away from their normal life and talking them into getting raped every day by guys that want to pay for sex — and it’s hard to even talk about that — the logical part of your mind is going ‘no way, how do you do that?’, but to the traffickers that’s a very effective way to make money and keep the girls around longer.

Interviews with girls in the USA that have been trafficked are heart-breaking: the girls – and in many cases, young men – are convinced their family no longer wants them. Maybe their family has, indeed, thrown them out. They hate their life, but don’t consider going home an option. The feeling of worthlessness makes them feel that this life of trafficking is their only option.

And consider these statistics from 12 Confronting Child Sexual Abuse Statistics All Parents Need to Know, published in the Huffington Post:

I bring all of this up because I want to protect children and teens from predators, and I know the way to do that is to talk about reality, in frank terms. I started learning about child sex trafficking when I began researching online safety for children in association with the Virtual Volunteering Project back in the 1990s, and I was floored: I had always thought most child abductions were by strangers, and to learn that the VAST majority are by non-custodial parents was startling. And finding out that most teens who are trafficked are targeted by people they consider friends, even romantic partners, was equally stunning.

I also bring this up because I live in the PDX metro area, and Portland, Oregon is often cited as the city with the highest rate of juvenile sex trafficking in the USA.

Protecting a teen in the USA from trafficking is about parents and other family members having a trusting relationship with their children, where there is lots of shared time together and lots of actions that say to that teen, “I enjoy being with you and I respect who you are and you are important to me.” If a teen feels like a parent or other trusted adults are interested in them and want them to be in their lives, those young people aren’t going to be open to overtures from a predator. It’s also about getting vulnerable teens – teens with disabilities, teens who exhibit depression, teens with addiction issues, teens who are struggling with mental issues, teens struggling with tragedies, teens who are struggling with their sexuality, etc. – the help they need.

Also see:

Sex Trafficking of Children Myths and Facts from Multnomah County, Oregon.

Human Trafficking: The Myths and the Realities, from The Muse.

September 16, 2020 update: Here we are, two years later, and this problem has gotten even WORSE. The QAnon movement is promoting outrageous myths about a supposed underground pedophilia ring run by celebrities and left-leaning government officialsy, appropriating and sensationalizing the issue of child sex trafficking to recruit more followers into its conspiratorial web, and legitimate anti-trafficking organizations are suffering significant collateral damage. Legitimate anti-trafficking programs now have to spend an inordinate amount of time debunking viral misinformation, mining through unhinged tips and warding off mob harassment, detracting from their ability to actually help kids in need.

June 26, 2021 update: In the Washington Post article “The state of Ohio vs. a sex-trafficked teenager,” you are taken step-by-step into how some girls are enticed into what they think is a relationship but is actually sex trafficking. It’s a long read, but worth it.

April 25, 2023 update: This Washington Post article profiles when 19-year-old Tiffany Simpson wrote an anti-sex-trafficking group in 2012. She’d thought that trafficking was something that only happened to girls from foreign countries. But the newspaper article she’d read described American teenagers. They weren’t kidnapped or tied up. They thought, at first, that they were in love. Even when the threats and the violence started, they stayed. Tiffany thought about the scar on her left thigh — a reminder of what happened when she, too, stayed… Tiffany lived in Georgia, where she’d spent her whole life. Where, at 17, she met a 34-year-old man who promised to take care of her. Where she became pregnant with his baby. Where she was driven to trailer parks to have sex with as many buyers as would pay.

April 29, 2023 update: California woman is found guilty of lying to police that a couple tried to kidnap her children.

Related resources:

Examples of Folklore, Rumors (or Rumours), Urban Myths & Organized Misinformation Campaigns Interfering with Development & Aid/Relief Efforts & Elections (note there are several examples of mobs who have murdered strangers visiting their towns under the mistaken belief that such were there to abduct children for organ harvesting)

You have an obligation to be truthful online

Safety in virtual volunteering

Keeping volunteers safe – & keeping everyone safe with volunteers

Why don’t they tell? Would they at your org?

Safety of volunteers contributes to a shelter closing

volunteer managers: you are NOT psychic!