Tag Archives: isolation

Volunteering to help your own mental health

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I see things like this posted to various online fora regularly – and even sometimes get emails that say something like this:

I’m sad and bored and need a change in my life. I feel like I have no direction. I need to reconnect to humanity and feel like I have a purpose. I want to go overseas and really make a difference somewhere, like helping refugees or orphans. I see the videos on TV and it really breaks my heart. But all the places I’ve looked into want me to have at least a university degree and some experience. I don’t have any experience, but I have a really good heart, I’m a hard worker, and I also really need this. Don’t suggest the Peace Corps – not only do they want me to have a degree, they want me to go for a really long time. I just want to go for a month or two. I think this would really help me have more purpose in life and be happier. I’d really love something that lets me just keep traveling on and on and pays for my travel and places to stay. 

Or this:

Hi, I am a 22-year-old male living in the Atlanta area. I’ve had mental health issues and substance abuse issues, and it’s hard to put into words, but a coping mechanism I have been taught was to find a happy place and go to it. The only time I can remember feeling overwhelming joy was working at Summer camps. I’ve never been so happy as I was watching those kids have fun and being able to teach them things they’d never learn otherwise. I’m willing to give any amount of time and effort so I can feel that way again.

Or this:

I’ve been dealing with mental health problems for about five years. I think what I need is to immerse myself in volunteering and make a difference. What I am looking for: (1) Away from the town where I live. Out of the country would be great. (2) Ideally something with an atmosphere where good people  who would be supportive of my mental health and accommodate me, because I have social anxiety and trouble interacting with people. (3) Dealing with something truly important, addressing a serious problem. I was thinking maybe something to prevent infant mortality, but I might not have the mental capacity for something that serious, and I don’t want to make my mental state worse. Climate change is another thing that might be good. I want something that’s bigger than myself and my mindstate. (4) An organization that provides a very immersive situation so I’m deeply connected with the people I am working with, and where I can see a difference being made. (5) Well-structured. It would be less anxiety-provoking if I don’t have to make too many of my own decisions. (6) The option to leave and go back home when I want.

Each of those three requests is based on an actual posts I’ve read on various public platforms – I’ve changed some words here and there so as not to single out any real person for their request, and changed some phrases for clarity.

I have no doubt these people sincerely want to help, but I am stunned at their expectations of  host organizations regarding the volunteer experience they want.

Volunteer hosting organizations – nonprofits, charities, schools, government agencies, etc. – have thousands of priorities that come before a goal of ensuring a person’s volunteering experience helps that person feel less lonely or improves that person’s self-esteem. Of course these organizations want volunteers to have a good experience – but they also aren’t therapists and they haven’t set up their volunteering as therapy – volunteering set up as therapy requires expertise, resources and constant supervision that most nonprofits, NGOs and charities do NOT have, and an emphasis on such would, in fact, take away from their primary mission of helping people experiencing homelessness or domestic violence, or promoting and celebrating the arts, or cleaning up a watershed, or accommodating lost, abandoned and surrendered animals, or supporting small-scale family farmers, and on and on. These organizations do not have a mandate nor the resources to create volunteering opportunities with the primary or even secondary purpose of giving volunteers a feel-good experience worthy of Instagram, helping them become more social or helping them address their own mental health issues.

Here’s also something you should know up front about volunteering: a volunteering role may not give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It may not increase your self-confidence. It may not improve your mental health. It may not make you feel like a superhero. It may not give you a feeling of accomplishment. It may, instead, be stressful and frustrating. The people you are there to help may annoy you. You may walk away from it feeling a sense of failure rather than accomplishment. There is no guarantee you are going to have the experience depicted on the volunteer recruitment materials.

The reality is that volunteering can be a LOT like dating: it may take spending time with a lot of different people, in various different places, before you find one that fits you – and you have to accept that, after months or even years, it may turn sour and it has to end.

Absolutely, volunteering can positively affect a volunteer’s mental health. Volunteering can help a person meet other people, give someone a sense of well-being, help develop a new social circle – you may even meet the person you want to marry through volunteering. Volunteering can even help you develop skills to improve your employment options. Volunteering can be good for you, mentally and physically, no question. But you cannot assume any of this is going to happen just by signing up to volunteer somewhere. You cannot assume volunteering is going to never be anxiety-inducing or never be stressful.

I have lots more detailed advice specifically for people seeking volunteering as a way to alleviate loneliness and mild depression here.

Is it possible for an organization to create such volunteering experiences for people seeking to improve their mental health? Sure! You may see a group of volunteers cleaning up a beach and not realize that they are all part of a therapy group for people with eating disorders. You may see a regular work crew around your county repairing playgrounds and public facilities and not know that they are recovering from addiction and do this volunteering under the supervision of a treatment program. You may interact with a volunteer at a local animal shelter and never know that the volunteer was coached for weeks by his therapist on how to apply for a volunteering role and then coached and supported by that therapist for the first three months of his or her service. You may be a volunteer working alongside other volunteers in a public awareness campaign and never realize that the volunteer in charge of putting together the newsletter got dumped by her fiancé and is using this experience to rebuild her confidence. But note that it’s not the organization hosting the volunteers that is responsible for their mental health support – it’s a therapy group or a professional therapist, and the host organization has been fully briefed and, sometimes, even financially supported to help accommodate these volunteers.

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