When most people think of the Afghan evacuation, they think of August of 2021, when crowds surged around Kabul’s airport, desperate and doomed Afghans clung to the sides of planes taking off, and a suicide bomber murdered scores of Afghans and 11 U.S. Marines, one soldier, and one Navy Corpsman. And they think the evacuation is over. But the evacuation of Afghans never ended. And neither has the volunteering by people all over the world trying to get vulnerable people out.
Jeff Phaneuf of No One Left Behind, the largest volunteer organization working to assist Afghans who served the USA as interpreters, has noted that when the organization surveyed its 16,000 contacts in August 2022, it found 180 clear instances of Afghans killed while waiting on a visa, with a 80 further possible murders they’re looking into. No One Left Behind estimates that there are close to 200,000 people still in Afghanistan eligible for visas from the USA set aside for Afghans and their family members who are at risk because of work they did for the USA. That doesn’t count the women’s rights activists other groups are working on. Those Afghans who do make it out often exist in an indeterminate legal space because of the inaction of governments to give them permanent status. Many of the people in Afghanistan that volunteers abroad are trying to help are literally starving: in August 2022, when No One Left Behind asked Afghans applying to leave about the conditions they lived under, only 5.5% reported being able to feed their families.
This Time article profiles the work of people, most of them volunteers, who are still in contact with Afghans in Afghanistan and are continuing to try to get people, especially women, out of Afghanistan and to a safe country with official asylum status, and focuses on their macabre mascot, Our Lady of the Manifest, “She’s who we pray to, to get people on flights” – and how she’s helping volunteers facing mounting fatigue, frustration, depression and stress as they feel a growing helplessness to assist Afghans.
The article notes what everyone faces in trying to get at-risk Afghans out of Afghanistan:
You can get every necessary document in order, push your case through the sluggish and unresponsive refugee system, get every name of the family you’re working with on a flight manifest, and somewhere between that Afghan family’s home and the airport they can run into the “18-year-old with a gun” problem—a young Afghan running a Taliban checkpoint who doesn’t have much respect for international agreements or paperwork and who might be in a bad mood, or struck by how a woman is dressed, or acting, or who just doesn’t like the idea of a family who wants to flee the country. Everything can fall apart in a moment.
As the author of the article notes, “Sometimes, Our Lady feels a little less like an inside joke with these volunteers trying to get Afghans out, and more like a companion on a painful road.”
These volunteers work mostly in isolation. Even with online communities and interacting with others remotely, volunteers can feel very unsupported and alone, especially when friends and family are more than ready to move on and stop talking about this. I know, because I am such volunteer: I wrote about my efforts two years ago as a part of Digital Dunkirk: online volunteers scrambling to help endangered Afghans get visas & out of Afghanistan and the mental and emotional toll I could see it taking on others and myself. There’s no organization supporting me or guiding me in this role – myself and other volunteers are all pretty much making it up as we go along, because the guidelines and information about getting people out of Afghanistan and into an asylum program are ever changing. Most of us, including myself, have no training in interacting with people witnessing and experiencing violence, who have no safe haven from those acts – but we are interacting with Afghans, via WhatsApp, Telegram and Signal – that live in this daily reality and want our help. In addition, many of these volunteers, myself including, know that there are people – former colleagues, real people, with names and stories, who are in the photos we have of our time there – who qualify, on paper, to come to the USA, but are still languishing in a country run by terrorists 18 months later. As Laura Deitz of Task Force Nyx notes in the article, “I probably can’t underscore the toll that this mentally and emotionally takes on anyone who’s trying to help.”
For the online volunteers trying to help, no certificate, no statistic on the monetary value of the time they contributed, no t-shirt, is going to serve as appropriate recognition for what they’ve done. There’s just one way we’re going to feel good about our virtual volunteering: getting people out of Afghanistan.
And I shall say it again, as I did two years ago:
Of course, the stress and frustration of online volunteers in this effort is nothing compared to the Afghans we’re trying to help. In addition to being terrified of the knock at the door that means the Taliban is there, to search the home, to take away boys and young men to fight, to take away girls for rape (there’s no such thing as “child marriage” – please stop saying that), to find files and data that could prove someone in the family worked with the USA, the UK, Australia, or some European country, Afghans are also running out of money and food.
I confess to having a very macabre sense of humor at times, and to gravitating to other humanitarian workers as colleagues and friends who also have such. It’s how I can face the absolute unnecessary absurdity of humanitarian work, whether internationally or just trying to help in my own community. This article provides a good profile of people who I think are like me – we don’t mean to offend. We’re just trying to stay sane.
I may print out a photo of Our Lady of the Manifest and put it on my wall.
If you have read this blog and are in the USA, I beg you to please write your US Congressional representative and both of your US Senators, as well as to the President of the USA, and ask them to please fulfill our commitment to our allies in Afghanistan, and to please put in the staffing and systems necessary to evacuate our allies and their families from Afgahnistan. They believed us – believe me – when we said they could and should pursue their education and careers, and they did so with the belief that we woud have their backs. We owe them this. And if you are in a country that worked in Afghanistan, whether militarily or in humanitarian interventions – Australia, the UK, Spain, Germany, Turkey, Japan, India, where ever – please do the same in your country regarding contacting your federally-elected officials.
All around the world, particularly in the USA, online volunteers, most working on their own, independent of any formal group, have been trying to put together SIV, P-1 and P-2 visa applications for Afghans who helped the USA military, USA programs and USA citizens working in Afghanistan. SIV folks worked with USA Armed Forces as translators or interpreters in Iraq or Afghanistan. The P-2 visa is for Afghans who helped in USAID-funded projects, participated in US State Department programs, or helped women start businesses, access education and health care and promote women’s rights – all things that will make them the target of the Taliban.
For 20 years, these Afghans completely embraced ideas that the Taliban finds abhorrent: women in most workplaces and professions, a free, questioning press, sports for everyone, music, art, movies, social media, travel abroad, and a vibrant, active civil society. Western reporters interviewed these Afghans, profiled them in heart-warming stories on TV and in online news sites, with quotes and photos. I worked alongside some of these Afghans in 2007, mostly in Kabul, but also briefly in the Pansjir Valley and Kandahar. I took photos with them, I blogged about them, and after I left the country, we stayed in touch, I edited press releases and reports they wrote in their jobs, we met up when they visited the USA.
And now, that work, those travels, those photos, those public pats on the back over two decades, may get them killed. That cherished certificate of recognition from the US State Department or some other foreign government has suddenly become a potential death sentence.
This effort, which is largely taking place on WhatsApp and Signal, has been called a “digital Dunkirk.” – The Atlantic, “Escape From Afghanistan,” August 23, 2021.
For the last two weeks of August and most of September, I’ve been part of this global virtual volunteering endeavor, this “digital Dunkirk.” And we’ve largely been a failure.
We’ve stay up late with and gotten up early for our desperate, terrified Afghan colleagues, messaging back and forth in those hours when the time difference has us all up at the same time, giving them updates on what we’ve found out and what we’ve done, reading their updates about what they are seeing, debunking rumors they’ve heard (and there are SO MANY rumors), offering sympathy and encouragement while trying to not sound glib or shallow. We’ve spent hours and hours on visa applications, reading the guidelines over and over, making sure that absolutely every bit of essential info the State Department might want is there, exercising the bits they don’t but that Afghans feel so proud of, like a declaration of honorary citizenship for some US city they visited. Part of the trouble with helping many Afghans stems from having trouble getting contact info for former employers that they worked for five to 10 or 15 years ago – work that could still get them killed now, under the Taliban. For Afghans we didn’t work with directly, we research former employers, track down the names of staff, write them, beg them. We continue to track down US staff who used to work at the Afghanistan embassy, people who have carefully hidden their email addresses because they are, no doubt, overwhelmed with strangers emailing them – including buying a subscription to LinkedIn just so we can message these people – and we ask, could you sign off on this P2 application I prepared for so-and-so? Only you can do it, because I didn’t work with him. It has to be you. Won’t you please? We’ve written our US Representatives and US Senators, telling them what we’re doing, asking if they can look into the matter for this person, specifically. We wonder just how far we can stretch the definition of de facto family in an application, to include nieces, nephews, adult brothers, in-laws… We look at the revised visa requirements for other countries and do the best we can in putting together applications for them, too.
We write, and research, and re-write, and research, and answer texts all morning and all night. We sometimes believe that if we slept, if we stepped away from our phones, we might miss an opportunity to help someone escape the country. We also scrub our social media accounts and web sites and blogs of photos and identifying info for all the Afghans we’ve worked with, both back in Afghanistan and right here in the USA.
The last two weeks of the US at the Kabul airport were horrific. One Afghan colleague never got her US paperwork – she still hasn’t, despite my US Senator’s staff assuring me that they had looked into the matter and it’s “in process” – but she did get visas for herself and her whole family for Australia. They rapidly packed and drove to the airport. They never got close to the gate – they never even got out of the car. It was a terrifying experience, and when they finally realized the Taliban would not let them through, even by foot, they returned home, defeated, despondent. A few hours later, the bomb went off. They were safe, for the moment – but we knew they weren’t getting out any time soon. It was like hearing a massive door slam shut.
The vast majority of the people that the Digital Dunkirk volunteers have tried to help have not gotten out of Afghanistan. Those people, those US and Australian and UK and French and German allies, are hiding at home, wondering when they will run out of money for Internet access, when they will run out of food, when a landlord will turn on them for not paying rent, and when a neighbor will turn them in, knowing they could win favor with the Taliban for doing so.
And we tremble when a social media account of an Afghan colleague goes silent.
When people say volunteering feeds the soul, that it lifts you up, that it’s oh-so-healthy, they are leaving out the volunteering, onsite or online, that is soul-draining, that it can leave you feeling helpless and distraught despite pouring so much into it. I’ve always bristled when people say, “Virtual volunteering is great for people who don’t have a lot of time to volunteer” or “virtual volunteering is impersonal!” Neither statement is true – not of any virtual volunteering I’ve ever researched, and especially not for the virtual volunteering I’ve most recently been a part of.
Per my virtual volunteering experience in this Digital Dunkirk: I’m exhausted. I’m frustrated. I’m angry. And I’m out of tears some days. And if you tell me the value of this volunteering in terms of the number of hours I contributed and the dollar value of those hours, I will probably want to hit you in the face as hard as I possibly can. I won’t, because I am committed to non-violence, but I’ll want to.
I’m not alone in this virtual volunteering – I’m in contact with folks at an NGO that are trying to get more than a dozen families out, and it’s been wonderful to share information, advice and frustrations. There’s also:
Task Force Pineapple, a high-profile effort by US military personnel and others that successfully evacuated more than 1000 Afghan allies and their families.
More than 40 volunteers at the University of Pittsburgh‘s Center for Governance and Markets are (were?) helping too. And then there are people like me, alone, trying to help Afghans they worked with: I see the posts all over Twitter and my LinkedIn account by people asking for advice, reporting their own progress, linking to some resource they’ve found.
There’s Special Operations Association of America (SOAA) is comprised of USA volunteers that says it is working side-by-side with the US government “to bring home our wartime brothers and sisters. Our mission is to safely provide humanitarian support in direct support of US policy.”
In this incredible 50 minute podcast, “Roamings and Reflections,” humanitarian assistance and international development expert Sasha Ghosh-Siminoff joins host Nicholas Heras to recount the massive effort to evacuate Afghans as the Taliban seized Kabul. It really captures what those days in Afghanistan were like for the online volunteers in the USA and elsewhere trying desperately to get people on those last flights. Many US government workers were risking their jobs by helping volunteers trying to get Afghans out of the country on those last flights. At one point, Ghosh-Siminoff says that, rather than digital Dunkirk, the effort, “was more of a digital Schindler’s List.”
This Stars and Stripes story, Afghan evacuation took hidden toll on mental health of volunteers who tried to help, notes that many of the volunteers in Digital Dunkirk efforts are military veterans who served in Afghanistan Veterans who had unresolved trauma from their time at war and thought helping to evacuate people would “make things right,” according to Amy Williams, the chief clinical officer at Headstrong. The story notes that members of an online support group for such volunteers said they didn’t think they could complain about their stress when Afghans have far worse situations, or they they didn’t think others would understand what they had gone through. Some volunteers, though, said they did not feel any adverse effects from their unsuccessful efforts to help Afghans. On the contrary, they said they feel better for having tried.
Of course, the stress and frustration of online volunteers in this effort is nothing compared to the Afghans we’re trying to help. In addition to being terrified of the knock at the door that means the Taliban is there, to search the home, to take away boys and young men to fight, to take away girls for rape (there’s no such thing as “child marriage” – please stop saying that), to find files and data that could prove someone in the family worked with the USA, the UK, Australia, or some European country, Afghans are also running out of money and food.
All this volunteering may be for naught. The visa applications may never come through, and even if they do, these many thousands of Afghans may never get out of the country. Many may be murdered. The women, in particular, will suffer horribly.
For the online volunteers trying to help, no certificate, no statistic on the monetary value of the time they contributed, no t-shirt, is going to serve as appropriate recognition for what they’ve done. There’s just one way we’re going to feel good about our virtual volunteering: getting people out of Afghanistan.
It’s been so worthwhile to connect with other volunteers, sharing resources and feeding off of each other to maintain hope. And a shoutout to the friend that isn’t involved in any of this, but listens to me rant and gives me words of encouragement – she’s helping to, as an online volunteer, even if she doesn’t know it. Thank you to everyone out there that’s volunteering online to help Afghanistan, whether it’s to help people get out, pressure their own governments to, in turn, pressure the Taliban to keep their promises (which they mostly have NOT so far, in case you aren’t paying attention), or to help Afghan refugees in their own country. I see you. I value you. Others do too. Keeping doing what you can.
Also, don’t you dare tell me that virtual volunteering is impersonal.
I have an Afghanistan Twitter list that I use to stay abreast of what’s happening in the country – it’s public – you can use it too. I’ve put together this list of ways Afghans can keep their computers and phones safe, and I’ve put together this list of online resources for Afghans trying to teach girls at home (frustrating, as most Afghans don’t have Internet access, most Afghans don’t read English, and all these are in English – there really needs to be a site in Dari and Pashto, but I can’t find such). You can feel free to share these resources with anyone you think could benefit from such, and your suggestions for additions to these resources would be helpful.
A sad turn of events has many of us feeling especially pessimistic: the State Department sent an email on September 9th to at least some Afghans who had applied for the P-1 visa, that said, in part:
Please note that case processing cannot begin until/unless you relocate to an eligible processing country. Processing is not feasible in Afghanistan, Iran, North Korea, Syria, Turkey, and Yemen. Once you have relocated to a country where refugee processing can occur, you will need to inform the U.S. Department of State Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration… of your current location and contact information for your referral to be assigned to a U.S.-funded overseas Resettlement Support Center for case processing… The United States is unable to provide protection or support to you while you await a decision on your refugee case. Case processing can be lengthy (potentially 12-14 months), so please be aware that this process could require living in and supporting yourself and your family in a third country for a substantial amount of time until case processing is complete. Even if you qualify for the P-1 or P-2 program and travel outside of Afghanistan, there is no guarantee that you will be approved for resettlement to the United States.
The information has been a gut punch to the Afghans I’m working with. Do I tell them now to get out of Afghanistan, anyway they can, even illegally, and once in that country, follow what the US State Department has said? What do I say now? I have no idea. And neither do all the other online volunteers I work with.
But Digital Dunkirk continues.
If you are helping people who are still in Afghanistan and are trying to get out, I have a Google Shared drive where I am sharing all of the information and links I have found helpful. If you see something in the drive that is inaccurate or outdated, or you have resources that I could add to such, please email me at jcravens42 “at” yahoo.com, putting “helping Afghans” in the subject line.
And in case you are wondering: I am working to support five Afghans and their families to leave the country.
Two are women I worked with when I was there in 2007. Their P-1 and P-2 applications, which I submitted since I worked directly with them in work that was funded in part by USAID, have been flagged by one of my US Senators, Senator Jeff Merkley of Oregon. One women needs to get out by herself, but another needs to get her sister, her mother and four nieces out. Next steps? Finding a way for them to get to another country to live for 12 – 18 months (see earlier US State Department communications).
One is a man, who did some work for the US Embassy. I have the names of the US Embassy staff who signed off on his payment paperwork. Only they can submit his paperwork. And they won’t reply to my emails. I now need to find someone who worked at the US Embassy who will be willing to submit his P-2 paperwork.
One got out of the country with his immediate family and is now, supposedly, in process for his P-2 – and since this is being handled by a US-based nonprofit I did not work with, there’s not much I can do other than share hopeful info.
One is someone who was a part of a USA-based nonprofit that I have volunteered with – that nonprofit has submitted his application for a P-2 application, but he’s stuck in Afghanistan, like my two colleagues. One staff member at the nonprofit was trying to communicate with 14 people that was associated with this nonprofit, and it just became way too much, so she’s creating teams of volunteers to be the primary contact for each of the 14 people. I’m on a team for a man who is a journalist. Next steps? Finding a way for him and his family to get to another country to live for 12 – 18 months (see earlier US State Department communications) and any associations of journalists abroad who might care about his situation and want to help in some way.
If you can help with any of the aforementioned four situations, contact me.
Update: One of the people I have been helping made it to Pakistan with her four nieces and mother, and then was able to go on to Australia, because she attended university there many years ago and that network has been working to get alumni out. Her sister was unable to go too – she could not get a visa for her. I continue to try to help her sister and others.
Update: Another perspective on being a part of the online #DigitalDunkirk, to get our endangered allies, the people we put into this precarious position, out of Afghanistan. This is not the warm and fuzzy just-show-up-when-you-feel-like virtual volunteering story you will find elsewhere. The emotional toll is real.
Update: One of the people I was trying to help got out, no thanks to me nor the USA. She’s now in Australia with her nieces and mother, and she wrote this account of why she fled and what her final weeks in Kabul were like. Her sister, her brother and her brother’s family remains. One of my co-workers also remains there. The USA is their only hope – and the USA offers no help to get them out.
I just read yet another list of the absolutely MOST important, key things that MUST be addressed for Afghanistan to become stable and peaceful. And, once again, negotiating with the Taliban is there, but improving the condition of women in Afghanistan, improving their access to education, healthcare and revenue-generation, is not.
Let’s be real: if a peace process or development strategy in Afghanistan does not make addressing women’s issues CENTRAL to its plan, does not make such a TOP priority, it will fail.
It. Will. Fail.
Addressing the condition of women in Afghanistan is not an afterthought, it’s not a supplement, it’s not just something nice to do after the “more critical” things have been addressed. Rather, it is imperative, it is fundamental, for any success in the country, and it must be baked into strategies. Equal rights for women is enshrined in the Afghan constitution. The Internet is rife with examples of how to leverage Islamic theology to promote the full participation of women in society. Humanitarian agencies hold the purse strings. In short: there is NO excuse for ignoring the condition of 50% of the population of Afghanistan.
When a girl in the developing world receives seven or more years of education, she marries four years later and has 2.2 fewer children (United Nations Population Fund, State of World Population 1990). When women and girls earn income, they reinvest 90 percent of it into their families, as compared to only 30 to 40 percent for a man (Phil Borges, with a foreword by Madeleine Albright, Women Empowered: Inspiring Change in the Emerging World [New York: Rizzoli, 2007], 13.). Empowering women in places in Afghanistan — giving them safe, easy access to primary and secondary education, to vocational training and to basic health services — improves the lives of everyone in the country. And, in addition, giving women a voice in defining and evaluating development goals is the ONLY way to ensure development activities meet the needs of women and children.
I rarely see Afghan women on TV news reports – and don’t tell me the reporters can’t find them. I rarely hear women mentioned in news analysis on network TV, in newspapers, in political debates about Afghanistan, in US Government briefings… That’s like not mentioning black Africans or apartheid when discussing South Africa in the 1980s. If the 50% of the population in Afghanistan being oppressed, tortured, killed, denied even basic human rights, were an ethnic group or a religious group, the outrage would be oh-so-loud and constant. But women? Suddenly oppression is a cultural thing we have to respect and not interfere with and just stand back and hope things evolve “organically” and “naturally.”
Balderdash. Bunkum. Nonsense.
Whether you are an aid worker or a policy maker, you have to be committed to women’s involvement in Afghanistan, no matter what the focus of your work is, whether it’s engineering or conflict resolution or arms agreements or WHATEVER. If you don’t, your work will FAIL. Your policies will FAIL. I’ve made many a male aid worker colleague angry for kicking back a field report that never mentioned women… Whether it’s a water and sanitation project, an infrastructure project, a weapons return program, an agricultural project, a governance project, whatever, it must talk about women. If your talk is going to be about how they aren’t involved at all, so be it. But you can’t pretend their non-involvement is normal, appropriate, and something your work cannot address.
This is a blog post I made on 31 August 2009, on my first, now long-gone blog host. Just finally managed to find it at archive.org
women-only hours at community Internet centers? why?
Back in August 2003, I had the pleasure of co-hosting an online discussion at TechSoup regarding Gender and the Digital Divide. It was a discussion regarding the barriers that keep women and girls away from computer and Internet-related classes and community technology centers (telecenters, Internet cafes, etc.). One of the things that came up in this discussion back then was that the barriers for women and girls to tech access are even more pronounced in developing countries, where family-obligations and cultural practices keep large numbers of women from ever stepping foot into a community technology center, telecenter, Internet cafe, etc., whether nonprofit or privately-run.
I was reminded yet again of this recently while corresponding with an Afghan female colleague: her employer has blocks on hundreds of web sites, including several she needs for her own career and skills development. But using an Internet cafe is not an option for her, and thousands of other women in Kabul like her, because:
her family would never allow her to go to such a place without a mahram (a male relative she could not marry, such as a brother, uncle, or father, acting as a safety and social escort), and most men aren’t willing to devote a few hours a week to accompany a female relative to an Internet cafe.
given the atmosphere of many public Internet sites — the posters in the wall, what’s being looked at on some of the computer screens by male patrons, men coming and going — it’s not an option for her to use a public Internet site even with a mahram.
My friend — and thousands of other women in Kabul — need a place that’s either devoted only to women Internet users, or, a public site that has women-only hours. I have yet to find either using Web searches and posts to various online communities.
But it’s not just in Kabul. Cultural practices keep women out of public Internet sites in communities all over the world.
I appreciate so much that I have the freedom where I live to walk into any public place with Internet access, and not have to worry about any social or legal ramifications as a result. But I also have to acknowledge that not every woman on Earth does have this freedom and, until they do, community technology centers run by nonprofits and Internet cafes run for-profit need to think about their accommodations for women and girls.
Public Internet access points in Kabul, elsewhere in Afghanistan, or in other developing countries, can encourage more women to use their services by:
creating women-only hours at a time that is appealing to women, or creating a women-only space with its own supervised entrance/exit and its own bathroom
providing women-only classes
staffing women-only hours, women-only spaces or women-only classes by women volunteers or women paid staff members, and with just one or two male staff members (if any) closely supervised and never, ever alone with any woman (staff or customer)
providing childcare for women using the site (it’s okay to charge a nominal fee for this)
a computer user space free of any images that might be deemed offensive to a conservative culture
How else can community technology centers, telecenters, Internet cafes, etc. in conservative areas be more accommodating of women and girls? Let’s hear from you.
My Facebook newsfeed is filled with posts from my male Afghan colleagues, talking about their travels, their work, their children, sharing photos, etc. But rare is the post from Afghan women I’ve worked with. And recently, I was reminded yet again of why that is.
In some countries, a woman’s reputation regarding her virtue is every bit as important as food and health care, in terms of prosperity, let alone survival. When you are a girl or a woman in Afghanistan, or many other countries, you can’t just shrug at insults regarding your morals or honor. You do not have that privilege. You have to care deeply about what neighbors and co-workers and, really, what anyone might say about your virtue. Damage to your reputation regarding your virginity, your marriage, your care for your children, your sexuality, how you dress, how you behave in social settings, and everything else that makes up one’s moral character can cost a woman a job, her family, her marriage – even her life.
I was gobsmacked to find out just how true this was when I lived in Afghanistan for six months back in 2007 – my Afghan female co-workers were immobilized at times by fear of gossip about their honor. But it’s not just in that country: I heard a few comments when I lived in Ukraine that made me realize that, to a degree, it can be true there as well.
I was reminded of all this per an article in the Washington Post regarding women in Afghanistan who are being virtually assaulted, their Facebook profiles duped to create a second, fake profile, their friends invited to “friend” that profile, and then come the fake posts boasting of drug use and illicit behavior, attributed to the person being targeted. The identity thieves steal the women’s photos and steal and repost personal information publicly. Or, the woman’s actual account is hacked, the password changed so that she can no longer control the account – and the same tactic used: fake posts boasting of illicit behavior, altered photos of the woman drinking alcohol, etc. “Respectable reputations are demolished with a few keystrokes.” In addition, a woman on Facebook in Afghanistan may end up with an inbox deluged with pornography and violent threats from aggressive suitors and alleged militants. It leaves the women terrified of even their own family members, as the article details.
In the article, an Internet cafe owner talks about his attempts to help the many young women who are devastated to find out their profile has been duped or hacked with such reputation-destroying information and frantic to get the information removed. Sadly, his reports to Facebook aren’t taken seriously. The article says, “He suspects that the threats are so culturally specific — a profile photo showing a woman’s face or a beer Photoshopped into a photo of a female gathering, for example — that they often go unnoticed by Facebook administrators reviewing flagged accounts. What may look like an innocent account in the United States can be full of menacing innuendo to Afghan eyes.”
But there’s another reason that keeps so many women in Afghanistan and other countries off of social media as well: the Tall Poppy Syndrome. People talking about an accomplishment can be seen as bragging, and many feel that tall flower has to be cut down to the same size as all the others. The phrase is particularly popular in Australia, though some people say it isn’t success that offends Australians but, rather, someone that acts superior. But in many places, a woman saying anything on social media, except for praising the deity of her religion, is seen as bragging – and she becomes a target for her “tall” reputation being cut down. If you don’t believe that, search for malala yousafzai criticized on Google.
For all these reasons, many women in Afghanistan and other countries have given up on having a virtual identity at all – I personally know of two such women. This greatly hinders their ability to connect with potential colleagues abroad that could help them in their work, to build up a professional reputation beyond the walls of their office or beyond the staff of the organization, and build a career.
Of course, it hasn’t always been so easy in the Western world for a woman to shrug off gossip. In Pride and Prejudice, published in 1813, the heroine, Elizabeth Bennet, warns her father that the consequences of her sister Lydia’s reputation as a flirt affects “our importance, our respectability in the world”, noting that when a girl is perceived as being a flirt, it is the girl’s family members that pay the price: “Oh! my dear father, can you suppose it possible that they will not be censured and despised wherever they are known, and that their sisters will not be often involved in the disgrace?” 200 years later, no girl in the USA has to have that scene explained to her, even in our world of celebrity sex tapes and leaked nude photos and wardrobe malfunctions. Many women worldwide, even in “the West,” still fear loss of reputation through gossip, even if the consequences aren’t nearly as dire as in other countries.
By contrast, I now live in a privileged world where I can choose to shrug at personal insults thrown my way regarding my virtue, my moral behavior, etc. I know who I am, that I strive for integrity in my professional world and in personal matters, I know that the people I love and respect in my life know my true character and morals, and for me, that’s all that matters. If someone calls me a whore, I can simply roll my eyes and say, “Please call me Her Royal Highness and Whore, as it is my correct title,” and then I can go on about my day.
I’m from the Bible belt, and I’ve lived all over the USA, and I find that “but what will people think?!” is a mentality that still very much exists back home. I’m not sure when exactly I shed that mentality, but I do remember the first time I heard a story that says there was a man who constantly harassed and insulted the Buddha, but the Buddha never seemed fazed by it. When someone asked why he didn’t take offense to the insults, he replied, “If someone gives you a gift and you refuse to accept it, the gift stays with the giver.” I remember thinking: that’s what I want to strive for. Though, full disclosure: insults about my looks, my age, my weight, etc., still feel like punches in my gut, anc criticism of my work, and my approach to work, can sting. But insults about my virtue? Have at it – I don’t care.
So we, in the West, do understand, to a degree, the perils of gossip regarding moral behavior for our sisters in other countries. But what’s to be done? We certainly need to pressure social media companies like Facebook and Twitter to better respond to complaints of duping and hacking. But should we also encourage a new way of thinking: “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me”? I’m not sure it’s possible to become unoffendable – but could an entire culture be taught, deliberately, to become less so? Would that be a part of women’s empowerment, of the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), particularly #5 Achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls?
Regardless, it should serve as a caution to humanitarian and development workers wanting NGOs and government agencies to engage more on social media; you need to provide guidance for the women who would be expected to manage online activities on how to stay safe and protect their personal reputations.
January 4, 2016 update: See this post on TechSoup that summarizes an article about the risks taken by women in Pakistan, particularly female students, who use social media, and highlights the work of Nighat Dad, a lawyer in Pakistan who works to help women stay safe online.
Also consider this real-world example: The book Kabul Beauty School by Deborah Rodriguez chronicled her time running a beauty school in Kabul, where she trained and managed Afghan beauticians. The book ended up on The New York Times bestseller list, made an overnight sensation of Rodriguez, and was slated to become a movie, with Sandra Bullock playing the lead. But then her Afghan husband turned on her, demanding proceeds from the book. Other people showed up at the beauty school, demanding money from the women that worked there and threatening to bring dishonor to their families by showing photos Rodriguez had taken with her cell phone inside the shop of women behaving in an “un-Islamic” manner – photoss that, at the time of this blog, can still be found online. The book and those photos exposed the women to risks. Several of the Afghan women who worked at the beauty school and whose private lives she documents in her book went into hiding and applied for political asylum within the United States. They feel abandoned by Rodriguez. In an article a year after fleeing Afghanistan, she said “If I could give them what they want, I would. I don’t know how to help anymore.” The fate of the women remains unknown. Photos and stories shared in moments of joy, fun and sisterhood have ended up the very people she was trying to help.
Update April 16, 2019: The Kandahar field office of UN Assistance Mission in Afghanistan (UNAMA) hosted a discussion with 20 women representatives of civil society, local media, provincial council members, teachers and university students active on social media. The participants agreed that social media campaigns and platforms are important means of advocacy for women to play their role in peace process. Balancing the pros with the cons -such as risks of harassment from trolls and others- they created a closed social media group dedicated to empowering women. In southern Afghanistan, as in other parts of the country, women are largely left out of decision-making and peace processes. Gender-based violence is prevalent and women are not visible in many public domains because of family and other cultural restrictions. The limitations apply to social media as well with indicators showing that, despite the potential, very few women in the southern region are active in this sphere. See more via this UNAMA Facebook update.
Updated April 15, 2021: A comic strip demonstrates the challenges women face online. It’s developed by Kenya ICT Action Network (KICTANet). In a story of three differently aged, differently shaped and differently employed women, we see what violence can look like online, how the seemingly harmless can actually contribute to it, and what we can all do to prevent it and to create a safer space for women online.
When you think of USA-based initiatives focused on development and humanitarian work in other countries, you think of New York or Washington, D.C. You will find a fair number in San Francisco and Los Angeles as well.
But there are organizations and initiatives all over the USA, in every state, with a primary mission of undertaking development and humanitarian work in at least one country overseas. Even in Oregon.
I come from a state – Kentucky – that most people I mean outside the USA could not locate on a map, and many have no idea its a real place. And I now live in a state that, likewise, most people I meet outside the USA could not locate on a map – in fact, many have never heard of Oregon. Yet, in both states, there are for-profit, nonprofit and university-based initiatives that are focused on other countries.
I started this page because, as a consultant myself for organizations working in development and humanitarian activities overseas, I would like to know who my colleagues in my own “neighborhood” are, and because I would like for people in the USA to be much better educated about other countries – so I’d like to know who is doing that. Also, Washington State has a formal umbrella organization, Global Washington, for groups in that state that work overseas, though it’s not focused only on humanitarian issues. Oregon doesn’t have such, that I can find.
If you would like to add an organization to my last, please contact me. But note: your initiative has to be officially registered in some way, or already part of an officially-registered organization, and there needs to be names of real people on your web site (one web site I found for a 501 (c)(3) organization claiming to work overseas had NO names of people on it – no names of staff, no names of board members – so they aren’t on my list).
(a version of this blog first appeared in March 2009)
I was in a convoy heading to the Pansjir Valley in Afghanistan once upon a time, when a non-Afghan man in the back seat, a fellow aid/development worker, started talking to a colleague about how beautiful and simply the people lived in Afghanistan, how idyllic it was, how it was a shame to bring them aid and development if it meant they would have to give up their beautiful, simple life.
I wanted to stop the SUV, throw him out of it, and let him see how he liked living “simply” for a few weeks.
Being poor is NOT the same as living in extreme poverty.
Dolly Parton and my grandmother grew up poor in Tennessee and Kentucky, respectively: there was no money to buy new clothes when they were children and, often, their mothers made clothes from whatever they could find (such as used potato sacks), their families had to grow most of their food, their families didn’t have a car, etc. But they were resource rich: they could grow and raise their own food, they had access to free, clean drinking water, they had access to doctors for emergency medical care (though a long walk to such), the fathers lived at home most of the time rather than having to live far away for most of the year to send money home, the families never went hungry or suffered from extreme cold, and they had access to wood for the stoves in winter. They never had to sell any of their children in order to feed the rest of the family. There was no danger of a rival tribe or religious zealots or a mafia looking for money or revenge breaking down the door and killing everyone or taking all their animals. Yes, there were hardships: many babies died in infancy, many women died in childbirth, diseases and injuries that are curable/treatable now were deadly back then, many children had to work rather than go to school, people died young compared to today, etc. But often, there was freedom and time for children to play safely around their homes. The whole family could read by the time they were teens. Talk to people who grew up like this, and they will tell you stories of hardship, but also of laughter and family and dreams.
By contrast, there’s nothing at all beautiful aboutextreme poverty, especially in Afghanistan. Extreme poverty means a family that has no means to grow its own food and, therefore, starves without the means to purchase food or attain food aid. It means women who die in childbirth, and babies that die in infancy, at rates that far exceed most other places on Earth. It means children sold as child brides or slaves in order to raise money to feed the rest of the family for a few weeks. It means a life expectancy of around 40. It means having no resources to build a fire or cook food — if there was food to cook. It means few people, if anyone, in the family being able to read, which means less of a chance of accessing health care and food assistance that MAY be available. It means people dying by the thousands regularly from preventable diseases. It means being a repeated victim of criminals and having no protection or justice because there’s no money for the bribes the police or the militias require. It means absolutely no way, on one’s own, to ever improve life for the family. It means no freedom, no time and no safety to play or dream or plan. It means no control over your life at all.
I’ve never forgotten that guy’s comments. And what’s sad is that I heard it again just recently in a video by someone I consider a dear friend . That there can be any confusion between living off-the-grid and living in extreme poverty is astounding to me.
Want to help combat poverty? There no better organizations than these, IMO, to donate to, and to spend your time reading their field updates:
When Twitter got started several years ago, it was a tool meant to be used via text messaging on your cell phone. That meant that, every time you got a message via Twitter, your phone vibrated or made a sound.
And that’s why I stayed away from it. That’s way, way more information I want via cell phone text messaging. And I wasn’t the only one that felt that way: I talked to nonprofits who told me they were abandoning their Twitter feeds in those early days because their volunteers and other supporters were complaining: we do NOT want this many text messages from you.
But just as Facebook went from being primarily an online dating tool for university students to an online social networking tool for everyone, Twitter has become a way for people to send and receive very targeted information – because it’s accessed primarily via a web browser or cell phone app rather than cell phone text messaging. Now, unlike its early days, Twitter reminds me so much of USENET newsgroups, the online communities that preceded the web and launched me into cyberspace (back in the 1990s, I checked my newsgroups before email!).
I hadn’t realized how far my conversion to Twitter was until I was midway through creating a strategy last weekend regarding Twitter use for an Afghanistan government ministry initiative. I never would have written this strategy two years ago!
And my point is: you have to be ready to revisit online tools. What may not be right for you now may be right for you in a couple of years. And what you are using now may be replaced by something better.
It’s annoying, I know: right after I had fully invested in an online profile on MySpace, including a blog focused specifically on youth volunteer engagement, people started abandoning MySpace in droves for Facebook. All that time and effort, down the drain… but I’m sure organizations that fully invested in their America Online profiles and communities back in the 1990s felt the same way when the World Wide Web really took off.
In case you are wondering: why did I recommend that an Afghan government initiative adopt Twitter?
Afghan government ministries have trouble thinking of their web sites as something that needs to change daily, even hourly. Adding a Twitter feed on the home page and other key web pages of this initiative will automatically make its web site dynamic – updated with every Tweet.
This government initiative needs to communicate much more effectively with current donors and international donors – and many of those international agencies and foreign government offices are very active Twitter users. They will still send their reports and meeting invitations, but now, they will also give very short, regular updates – and that’s just what the donors want.
This initiative needs urgently to communicate better with the press. And the press in Afghanistan is really tired of press conferences and 10 page press releases.
This initiative needs to learn to say why it’s great (and it is) in 140 characters or less. Afghan government workers are some of the most verbose writers you will ever encounter. I attribute that to a combination of Persian poetic roots and United Nations training. I’m hoping Twitter use will contribute to them writing more effective messages in all of their communications.
The initiative staff needs to read what is being said about its work beyond local newspapers, if they want to know what international donors are thinking.
My goal with the strategy is to get the staff at this initiative up and using Twitter as soon as possible, and to keep their use as effective and worthwhile. So my strategy included:
What to write as the program’s Twitter user name – and why.
The wording for the program’s Twitter bio – and why those specific words were important (word choice is important, so that people looking for certain key words will find their profile).
The Twitter feeds for this initiative to follow, at least at first, and why (which I hope will guide the staff regarding future follow choices). It’s about 200 Twitter feeds – and, yes, I carefully chose each of them.
Exactly what to do during their first 48 hours on Twitter.
Tweets for the first five days.
What to tweet after those first five days.
Tags to use, and not to use – and why.
Best days to tweet (best days are NOT Thursday afternoons, Fridays or Saturdays, which are the Afghan weekend), as well as best times of day (late morning is best to reach Europe, late afternoon is best to reach North America).
Tips for avoiding bad PR on Twitter (how to be supportive of the nation and the government without getting political, the importance of keeping personal info off the Twitter feed like “here are photos from my vacation in India!”, choosing whom to follow, etc.).
Why it’s important to check to see who has mentioned the agency on Twitter, and how to find direct messages on Twitter.
What activity is public on Twitter (pretty much everything!).
I spent about an hour dreaming up example Tweets for almost each advice item above. That was fun. It involved poppies.
What about communicating with Afghan citizens? That certainly will happen too with this Twitter feed, with affluent Afghans, even if that’s not the primary purpose of the Tweets. While cell phone permeation is shockingly high in Afghanistan, even among farmers and ranchers (Bloomberg News, April 2010), I doubt many will follow via cell phone text messaging – and the numbers are still relatively small (because of literacy and remoteness). Should the ministry create a separate Twitter feed to reach those farmers and ranchers specifically via text messages? Maybe! But first, this ministry needs to use Twitter with donors and the press, IMO, so they can hone their messaging skills. And when they’re ready, I hope I get to help with other strategies as well.
Will this government ministry go for it and start using Twitter? If they do, I will announce it on my own Twitter feed. Stay tuned…
Recently, I got an email from yet another organization that is teaching Afghan women how to make handicrafts and textiles to sell in the West.
And I sighed. Heavily.
I’m not saying that these are bad programs. In fact, I have supported many of them, as a consumer: My husband and I each have a lovely Shalwar Kameez from a shop run by Afghans for Civil Society in Kandahar (here’s him in his; I’m in the burqa), I have a custom-made jacket from AWWSOM Boutique in Kabul that I wore at my wedding reception, I have a custom-made purse from Gundara, and I have lots of items from Ganjini Showroom and various other stores in Kabul. These items are beautiful, they are well-made, and I love showing them off (for more info, see my guide to shopping in Kabul).
HOWEVER, teaching more and more Afghan women how to make purses, shawls, table cloths and other lovely items is not going to lift women out of poverty, nor move them into their proper place in society, because there is not enough of a market for all those products.
Capacity-building programs have to be focused on what is actually needed in a particular community, that are more guaranteed to provide income regularly, long-term. That means programs that teach Afghan women how to:
engage in any of the procurement or logistics activities needed to sustain any of the above
These are things that local people need, and/or that they want – they are not just that are nice to have.
If you know of a program – local or international, government-run or foreign run or civil society run, whatever – that is teaching Afghan women to engage in income-generation activities that are practical and sustainable, feel free to post names and links in the comments section of this blog.
I’m an online volunteer with BPEACE, and out of the blue, they sent me this soccer ball, hand-stitched by Afghan women. Afghan women have been renowned for centuries for deft needlework. Now the women of DOSTI, meaning “friendship” in Dari, have harnessed that heritage to handcraft club-quality soccer balls – with the help of BPEACE. Read the DOSTI soccer ball story for yourself (and learn how to get one for yourself!).
BEST VOLUNTEER THANK YOU GIFT EVER!
On a related note, see this page on how to thank online volunteers (also covers how to use the Internet to thank ALL volunteers)
