I often feel that most letters to Dear Abby and other advice columnists can be summed up thusly:<\/p>\n
There is this thing I need to do or say, because I’m suffering per the behavior of someone else, but I don’t want to address it because it’s going to make me uncomfortable to say or do what I need to say or do, it’s going to make other people uncomfortable, and the people I’m speaking about\/to may end up not liking me, have their feelings hurt, etc. So how can I do or say this thing that I really need to do in such a way that no one will be angry, I won’t be uncomfortable, everyone will listen, all is well afterwards with no resentment or hostility, and I get the change in behavior I need?<\/em><\/p>\n And I realized over the course of the four presentations I did in the last two weeks that most questions asked by managers of volunteers can be summed up thusly as well.<\/p>\n Two of my most popular blogs are about how managers of volunteers are under pressure to always please volunteers<\/a> \u00a0and The volunteer as bully = the toxic volunteer<\/a>. Both of these blogs reflect the aversion of managers of volunteers\u00a0to conflict, complaints and uncomfortable conversations.<\/p>\n This aversion comes from a misplaced notion that managers of volunteers must be:<\/p>\n How do we change that expectation of managers of volunteers – both from others and by ourselves?<\/p>\n\n