People have many, many different personality "styles" in e-mail exchanges, and, collectively, mentors and protegés will probably represent all of them:
- Some write e-mails exactly as they talk, using punctuation and "smileys" to show emotion or expression.
- Some write formally.
- Some write short and to the point.
- Some write often.
- Some interpret silence as approval. Others interpret silence as disapproval or rejection.
- Some interpret short, quick answers and sentences as being "direct." Others interpret the same messages as "curt."
- Some e-mail you, and if they don't hear from you in a day, e-mail you again, out of fear the technology failed.
- Some write e-mails littered with punctuation, spelling and sentence structure errors, but are very articulate on the telephone or in person.
- Some are not completely aware of all of the functions on their e-mail software
- Some are "documenters" and some are "snippers": Some feel it is necessary to keep the full reply even if it is the sixth message passed. Others like to respond in a concise manner, so much so that it can be hard to figure out what they are responding or referring to (this may not be a culture difference, as much as a difference in e-mail
systems or the person's technical know how).
Whether using e-mail or a chat room, communicating in a text-only format can be a challenge. Written online exchanges can't tell you everything about a person, and can even be unintentionally misleading. Sometimes, you have to interpret people's written communication and even help them be more clear and effective online.
Never make assumptions about what you are reading. Don't think that a person is mad at you unless they have said, "I am mad at you." Don't assume someone does not want to talk to you because they've written a very short note instead of a long one. Ask questions, double check, and read what you've written a few times before you send it off.
LEARNING MORE
None of the following is required reading! But if you want to learn even more about the nuances of communicating with people online, become a part of an online discussion group. Note, however, that NONE OF THESE GROUPS are affiliated with this mentoring program or the Virtual Volunteering Project.
Start by joining groups that interest you personally -- for a particular hobby, your favorite author, a sports team you follow, even a political issue. You can find online discussion groups for just about
any subject you can think of at these site:
As you observe (or "lurk") on these groups, notice the variety of ways people relate to each other via written communications, the differences in communication styles among people of different age groups, professions, or geographic areas. The more you read, the more comfortable you will become at your own abilities to communicate online.
EVEN MORE RESOURCES
For those of you who want to reall delve in depth into the subject of online culture further (again, it's NOT required reading; we just thought it would be helpful to those of you really interested in such):
- The Virtual Volunteering Project links to a variety of online resources to help you learn about the dynamics of online culture, as well as how to facilitate online groups via e-mail or live chat. This information shies away from "techy" talk, instead concentrating on the human elements and language needed to successfully engage people online. This site includes Connecting Humans: Essays on the Positive Side of Online Culture, providing information, essays and examples that illustrate how cyberspace is bringing us together, not closing us off to each other.
- Netiquette guides are good ways to learn good online manners. We recommend :
- E-Mail Communication and Relationships
Dr. John Suler of the Department of Psychology at Rider University, presents a very detailed document that explores the psychological dimensions of environments created by computers and online networks. Part of an even larger work, Psychology of Cyberspace, also available on this Web site.
- Online Community Toolkit
A great set of tools regarding online communities, from what they are to how to facilitate them to sample online community guidelines, rules and member agreements. This collection of helpful articles are by Full Circle Associates Nancy White, Sue Boettcher and Heather Duggan.
- Social MUSHes and the
Anxiety of Communication
An abstract for a study by Christopher N. Larsen of Harvard on why online interactions are particularly appealing for those who experience anxiety during face-to-face conversation and for people with disabilities, as well as the characteristics that can emerge on an online community. This is part of the Journal of Virtual Environments, a "refereed electronic journal" which publishes academic research that relates to Virtual Environments or makes use of Virtual Environments. Of particular interest are psychological, anthropological, sociological approaches, as are the practical and technical aspects of creating, maintaining and administrating VEs.
- Psychology of Virtual Communities
Created and maintained by Storm A. King, this is an index of online journals and e-mail discussion groups that deal with the psychology of virtual communities and links to sites for researchers interested in the psychology of virtual communities.
- Resource Center for Cyberculture Studies
This not-for-profit organization works to research, study, teach, support and create diverse and dynamic elements of cyberculture.
- Online Communities: Opportunities and Challenges
This site provides information on getting a community to become "effective online," and lessons from experience.
V E R S I O N: December 15, 2000
Return to the main page of Online Mentoring Guidelines and Activities
Return to the main page of the Sanchez Elementary School Online Mentoring Program
VERSION: December 15, 2000
Return to the main page of the Sanchez Elementary School Online Mentoring Program
This web site is Copyrighted © 2000 by Jayne Cravens
Permission is granted to quote from this web site so long as the author and web site are noted.
Please notify me if you intend to use these materials or to quote me. You don't have to, but it would be appreciated.
This resource was developed by Jayne Cravens for Sanchez Elementary School in Austin, Texas;
the Charles A. Dana Center at the University of Texas at Austin; and the Virtual Volunteering Project.
This online mentoring program is no longer operational; these web materials have been preserved to help other schools develop their own online mentoring programs. You can find more online mentoring resources here |
